Blood Will Out

I thought you'd be pleased to see me, said Arthur.

I am! cried Lavender.

That's nice. At least somebody is, said Arthur.

Have you got thirty dollars, Arthur? asked Lavender. We want to go fossicking.

No, said Arthur. I haven't.

Dr Yates finished measuring the two Giant Claws.

I have good news and bad news, he said. These are actually Middle Sized Claws.

Was that the good news? asked Gaius.

No, that was the bad news, said Dr Yates. It means they aren't very important.

Gaius looked crestfallen.

The good news, said Dr Marigold Brick, is you might as well take them both home.

But Gaius did not brighten up.

Let's have a campfire this evening, said Marigold Brick. Arthur can tell us the rest of his story. And we'll cook chops and drink billy can tea.

Yay! said Lavender.

Shut up, Lavender, said Baby Pierre. You don't like chops.

.......

That evening  everyone sat around the campfire, eating chops, and drinking billy can tea, except for Ouvert, Baby Pierre and Lavender, who were happily entranced by the flames.

And Arthur went on with his story:

The king was outraged. The queen was still balanced on one leg. He placed his foot behind her ankle and pushed on her shoulder. The queen fell to the ground. What was that? asked the queen. Judo, said the king. Well done, said the queen, clapping slowly while balanced on her elbows. Happy now? The king stared at the queen's other leg. It was pink like the other one. I'm not myself, said the king. Our daughter has a green leg. Blood will out, said the queen. My grandmother had a green leg. It's just, said the king,  that when she goes swimming.... Let her wear one of those speed suits, said the queen. A brilliant idea, said the king.

Arthur stopped.

Very nice, said Marigold Brick. I owe you an apology, Arthur. It wasn't gender offensive at all.

Surely it was, said Dr Yates. The queen gets knocked over. And the daughter must wear a speed suit to cover herself up.

I found it empowering, said Marigold. The queen always remains in control. Did you like it Lavender dear?

Yes, said Lavender.

QED, Dr Yates, said Marigold Brick.