Masquerading as a Catch

I found this object in your billabong, said Paul Verlaine, holding up the lifeless carapace, legs and claws. It was lurking in your billabong, masquerading as a catch! Outrageous!

Paul! said Mathilde. Please calm yourself!

Yes, calm yourself, Monsieur, said the manager. I can explain exactly how it got there. Believe me it's not something we encourage, but a distressed lobster turned up last week accompanied by a young poet. What else could I do but offer him the convenience of my billabong in which to moult?

Young poet? said Paul Verlaine, heavily.

No, not the young poet, said the manager. It was his lobster that was moulting.

What? snapped Paul Verlaine. His lobster? No, you fool, that was not what I was asking. Describe this young poet to me.

His name was Arthur Rimbaud, his hair was wild and both his knees were scabby, said the manager. He was very good with children. He let them win the bowls. Is he a friend of yours?

You could say that, said Paul Verlaine, And then again.....

....you couldn't, said Mathilde.

You may be in luck, said the manager. I'm just about to put a note on our gate asking him to drop into the office. He has been very kindly treated to a free fossick by Dr Yates, the curator of Earth Sciences at the Museum of Central Australia. Not just Arthur but his friend as well.

The moulted lobster? asked Paul Verlaine.

I don't think so, said the manager. A different friend. A she.

A SHE! cried Paul Verlaine. Insupportable!

He turned on his heel and walked out of the door.

Excuse my husband, said Mathilde. He is very sensitive.

Sensitive, said the manager. Yes. We are used to all types here. Don't worry, Madame Verlaine. Now excuse me, I must write this note.

Mathilde thought about the import of the note. Arthur and his female friend would soon be turning up. It  would be better if this did not happen. She could follow the manager and remove the note. But what if Arthur  turned up anyway? She must warn him with another note. What would she write?

She composed the words in her head. Now how did one spell Fossiquing?