The True Redeemer

It's quite late when they reach Middleton. Midge drives them straight to Mrs Swales'.

Sweezus, Belle et Bonne, Surfing-With-Whales and Farky are in the kitchen eating pizza.

Hi all! says Midge. Look who's here!

Arthur! says Sweezus. Awesome! He looks happy for a moment, then goes back to looking sad.

What's up? says Arthur. Did you miss me?

It's not that, says Sweezus. I'll tell you about it later, but I'm kind of in the shit.....

That one can't be Sweezus, thinks Pastor Moon. He would not say in the shit.

So Pastor Moon addresses himself to Surfing-With-Whales, who looks like he could well be a redeemer.

Allow me to introduce myself, says Pastor Moon. My name is Raymond Moon, and I am overjoyed to meet you. Please accept this humble gift.

Thanks man, says Surfing-With-Whales, taking the package. He rips the paper off and does a double take.

Fuck me! says Surfing-With-Whales. It's one of those Jesus thingers. What's it do?

He twists the top off. It reveals itself to be a pen.

Pastor Moon grabs the pen back. This can't be Sweezus either.

Sorry, it's not for you, says Pastor Moon. I've made a mistake.

Arthur? says Bunny. Help my dad out.

Arthur stands up to help Pastor Moon out. But he doesn't want to go.

Mrs Hume has no intention of helping anyone but Farky. She takes a slice of Margarita and offers Farky a chunk of cheesy crust under the table.

It's a little awkward. Sweezus has seen the pen.

Is that for me? asks Sweezus. He takes the novelty crucifix pen from the hand of Pastor Moon.

He looks at it intently, and weighs it in his hand. Perhaps it's worth some money. He needs some money. He could maybe sell it later on ebay. Perhaps, he thinks, he could even sell his whole collection.

Sorry, says Pastor Moon, I realise ..........

S'alright says Sweezus, looking much more cheerful now. I'm always getting these. Are you coming to my party? It'll be awesome, man. The girls are bringing cakes.

Belle et Bonne looks inquiringly at Midge, who opens up her backpack to reveal a large brown cardboard box.

She places the box on the kitchen table and opens the lid with a flourish.

Da dah! says Midge. Everyone cranes to look inside the box.