He Can Take A Blow

Goodbye parents, says Unni. Don't let me hear that you've got back together.

No fear of that, dear, says Millicent, in a tone Ray doesn't like.

But Millicent , says Ray. I've changed. I've adjusted my religion. I now like cats. Perhaps we....

Unni rides away with Arthur, down the street, in the direction of Port Melbourne.

Mum doesn't like cats particularly, says Unni. Dad's forgotten.

Shwoooosh! Unni has a message on her iphone. It's from Ray.

Dad says come back at once, you've gone off with his half of the money, says Unni.

He should have thought of that before, says Arthur. Anyway, it's his half of nothing.

How come you lost it? asks Unni. Talk me through it.

It was in the snake box, says Arthur. Me and Sweezus ate and drank some of it, but there was plenty left.

And then what? Someone stole it? says Unni.

The snakes, says Arthur. They were going to the Pilbara. They said it was half theirs.

How come you were minding it? says Unni. Not dad and Gaius.

They were in hospital, says Arthur. Margaret was minding it. Then Katherine's dog got sick so Margaret left the the box with Katherine, but Katherine had to go to the police station........

So it's not your fault, says Unni. Stop here. We'll wait for Gaius and Schopenhauer to catch up. And you can tell them.

They stop and wait for Gaius and Schopenhauer to catch up. They have been going slowly.

This is why.

Heave to! cries Captain Louttit, every fifty metres.

Why? asks Gaius, eventually. What's the matter?

The barnacles are feeling nauseous, says Captain Louttit. I don't want our water polluted.

I'll deal with them, says Schopenhauer.

He reaches into the jug, wetting his shirt sleeve. Shoves a handful of barnacles into his trouser pocket.

Captain Louttit is astonished. So is Gaius.

But what can they do? It seems Schopenhauer is that sort of fellow.

They ride on in silence, until they catch up with Unni and Arthur.

Arthur has something to tell you, says Unni. Go on Arthur.

There is no money, says Arthur. But it's not my fault.

Bravo Arthur, says Unni. Gaius will just have to use his credit card.

Gaius is a Roman. He can take a blow. But he doesn't have a credit card.

This is awkward, says Gaius. I don't have a credit card.

Never mind, says Schopenhauer. I have money. I will pay for your ticket, Gaius, and  in return you will teach me all about the history of nature.

Many thanks, dear fellow, says Gaius. And the first lesson will be, never put live barnacles in your pocket.

I was just being spontaneous, says Schopenhauer.

Leave that to the barnacles, says Gaius. And now what about Arthur? He has no benefactor.

He has fifty dollars, says Unni. And I'll lend him the rest. You can owe me, okay Arthur?

Arthur might be supposed to be unhappy with this, by someone who didn't know him very well.