A Metaphysical Question

Why are we travelling east? asks Arthur.

It's the way I want to go, says Unni.

Let me see your map, says Arthur.

Call up your own map, says Unni.

Can't, says Arthur.

.......

Schopenhauer is riding slowly, wobbling and breathing hard.

Uuuuuhuh, says Schopenhauer.

Something wrong with the bicycle? enquires Captain Louttit, from the basket.

No, says Schopenhauer. It's impossible for something to be wrong with the bicycle. It's a Platonic Ideal.

You then? says Captain Louttit, sympathetically. Still got your sea legs?

That will be it, says Schopenhauer. I'm generally very good at everything.

........

Gaius is riding behind Schopenhauer, not listening to this conversation.

The countryside is gently undulating, through farms and poppy fields.

How very pleasant. How far did Unni say it was to Hobart? Seven hundred kilometres? Tasmania must be bigger than he thought....

......

Trouble is fermenting amongst the barnacles.

Did you hear what he said? says the barnacle with the rudimentary education. "Very good at everything".

Not natural history, says the second barnacle.

What's that, comrade? asks number three.

It's questions, says the educated barnacle. Questions like 'are we seafood?' and 'what's beyond?'

Silence! shouts Captain Louttit. Shut up down below!

Educated barnacle has had enough of obedience and submission. Flicking open her operculum she speaks up boldly.

A question for you, Captain.

Spit it out, says Captain Louttit.

Are we merely seafood? asks the educated Barnacle.

I am not, says Captain Louttit. You are.

If you're not, we're not, says the educated barnacle. We want equality.

In your dreams! says Captain Louttit. Any more questions?

What's beyond? asks the educated barnacle.

A National Park, I understand, says Captain Louttit.

It was a metaphysical question, mutters the educated barnacle.

..........

By lunch time they have reached Narawntapu National Park, and stopped at the Visitor Centre to see the ranger.

It's twelve dollars each for a National Parks Pass.

That's steep, says Gaius. Is it worth it? What's to see here?

Wombats, says the ranger. Bakers Beach. View from Anders Knob. Wallabies, potoroos, the Asbestos Ranges, flies........

Flies! says Schopenhauer.

Asbestos! shrieks Unni.

They are about to turn and leave when a car of rednecks pulls up outside the Visitor Centre.

Mildly menacing.