Mind Off Easter

Unni glares at Paul.

Suddenly the penny drops. He wants to screw her.

You think I'm some air-head townie, says Unni. You think you can screw me. Think again.

What did you scratch the Commodore with? says Paul, thinking of a nail file.

Tweezers, says Unni.

That was it! says Simon-Peter. Tweezers!

You didn't see, says Unni.

Nah, says Simon-Peter. Tweezers! His new name.

Ezekial nods solemnly in agreement.

Benedict shakes his head. No. Not Tweezers.

Sweezus! says Benedict. It was Sweezus. Yeah?

You guys are idiots, says Unni. Yes it was Sweezus. He's a colleague of mine.

So, says Paul, it was Sweezus that scratched the Commodore.

Yes, says Unni, thinking: Tweezers, Sweezus. It's not that different.

So yeah, says Simon-Peter. We'd be dickheads if we took the fucken door off.

Paul's plan for screwing Unni is defeated.

Unni walks away.

.........

Arthur is still working on his poem as he approaches Beaconsfield.

It's nearly finished. He just needs to find a special word for something.

If only he had..... but wait..... he does have a phone, somewhere deep down in his pocket. It's been switched off for days.

He stops pedaling. One foot on the road. Hand in pocket, rummaging.

He finds the phone. It's sticky. He turns it on. Good. It has a tiny bit of battery.

He searches the internet for the word. Prolactin!

Arthur likes the word.

He notices that he has one message. It's from Sweezus.

HEY Arthur, cd u get Schpnher to snd me smthng pronto. hw is tssi? Easter here is shit as per usual you?

Arthur replies, with his last bit of battery: ax unni.

Sweezus will figure out what that means.

As Arthur cycles, he recites the finished poem in his head:

The Pot-Bellied Sea Horse.

Daddy! It is natural to wonder why
Squirting a stream of babies
From your rocky-coloured pouch
Into the turbulence of ocean tides
And treacherous dark currents
After nourishing us on sweet prolactin
Makes any sense to Mother.


It's good, thinks  Arthur. Sweezus will like it. Take his mind off shit as per usual Easter.