Bitter Experience

Cotton, says Captain Louttit. They were made of cotton. The bikinis.

Before the days of lycra, says Admiral de Guichen. Yes I remember. Particularly the bottoms. They were more.... ...what's the word I'm looking for....... bunchy.

That's the word for it, says Captain Louttit. Some of them were only made of string.

I know, says Admiral de Guichen. Not much left to the imagination.

Why does his stump feel itchy?

What happened to your leg? says Captain Louttit. You're missing a back pereipod.

Fell off when I was kidnapped, says Admiral de Guichen.

Kidnapped? says Captain Louttit. Are you on the run?

No, I'm on my way to Tasmania, says Admiral de Guichen. See that fellow over there?

With the jug? says Captain Louttit.

That's the one, says Admiral de Guichen. That jug is to be my vessel. How are the mighty fallen, eh?

I don't know, says Captain Louttit. I wouldn't mind seeing Tasmania. But your vessel's filling up.

Filling up? says Admiral de Guichen. Skittle my timbers! He's filling it with barnacles and sea grapes! I'd best push off before I lose my berth.

Farewell old friend. Fair winds and following seas! says Captain Louttit.

Following SEAS? says Admiral de Guichen. Not winds. Of course! That's how it goes.

.....

Arthur is scouring Lorne for the cheapest fish and chip shop. He finds the Salty Dog.

Fish and chips for four comes to just under fifty dollars, which is quite cheap for Lorne.

On the way back to the beach with fish and chips he passes the public toilets, outside which two girls are laughing.

One points to the house across the road.

The architect copied the design. It's so hilarious, she says.

I bet the owners hate it, says the other.

Arthur looks at the house and at the toilet.

He likes a town where such things are allowed.

.......

On the beach Schopenhauer, Ray, Arthur and Gaius eat their fish and chips while seagulls squabble all around them.

Scavengers! says Admiral de Guichen, from the safety of his barnacle and sea grape laden jug..

Chip? says Arthur.

No, thanks, says Admiral de Guichen, eyeing the barnacles. I might have something later on.

Not the barnacles! says Gaius. They are for research purposes.

Squaaawk! says a particularly aggressive seagull.

Arthur reaches into his pocket and tosses something long, thin and articulated to the seagull.

Was that what I think it was? says Ray.

He didn't want it, says Arthur.

Still, says Ray. It's disrespectful. A leg's shouldn't be a disposable commodity.

I agree, says Schopenhauer. Respect for animals

I forgot you were a Buddhist, says Ray.

Buddhist? says Gaius. May I enquire how that accords with eating fish and chips?

I'm not a practical Buddhist, says Schopenhauer. Now, we have a decision to make. Do we push on to Melbourne or stay here overnight?

Ray will want to get to Melbourne, says Gaius. He needs medical attention.

I do, says Ray. And I will get that from my Millicent, but I would rather surprise her in the morning that late at night. That's one thing I've learned from bitter experience.

So it's agreed. They will spend their last night sleeping on the beach.