Spoilt Little Human

The red necked stints remember the old days.

There was no filamentous green algae.

I blame the South East Flows Restoration Project, says one.

Me too, says the other.

Bizui! says the first one.

The second one turns.

It's Terence.

What's bizwee? asks Terence.

Shut up, says the second red necked stint.

I didn't say anything, says Terence. I'm in a bad mood. I stormed off.

Aw, says the first red necked stint. I suppose you're a spoilt little human.

I suppose you're just two stupid parrots, says Terence.

But two stupid parrots are better than no stupid parrot.

He decides to be friendly.

What are you doing?

We're looking for something to eat. The whole area is gunked up with filamentous green algae.

We know, says Terence. Me and Gaius and Saint Roley are here looking. Some birds are missing.

Any birds in particular? asks the first red necked stint.

Not parrots, says Terence.

We're not parrots! says the second one.

But we're not missing, says the first one.

Wah! says Terence. My head doesn't understand this. Would you like to come back to my campsite? Gaius'll tell you who's missing. And he'll give you an apple. Not his apple. My apple.

What's an apple? asks the first red necked stint.

Follow me, guys, says Terence.

He trudges back along the Coorong to where Gaius, Katherine and Saint Roley are setting up camp.

Wonder of wonders! cries Gaius Two red necked stints. Well done, Terence!

What lovely birds, says Katherine. Are they endangered?

The red necked stints look alarmed.

No need to look alarmed, says Gaius. You are only endangered as a species.

Great news! says the first one.

And not as endangered as the Spoon-billed Sandpiper, says Gaius.

Even better, says the second.

He spies Saint Roley, who has had his head down, spreading a towel.

Brother! says the second.

Brothers! says Saint Roley. Welcome. I have travelled from France. Where have you come from?

China, says the first red-necked stint. And I must say, it's a disgrace here. It's supposed to be a Ramsar site, and yet look at all this filamentous green algae.

Is it better in China? asks Saint Roley.

It will be, says the second red necked stint. The Chinese government has announced plans to stop land development along its coasts.

Biswee! says Terence. That means shut up.

Then you mustn't say it, says Katherine.

Where are the apples? asks Terence.

Here, says Gaius. Do you want one?

Terence takes an apple and offers it to his two stupid parrots. They attack it.

Stab and twist. Swurp. Mmm. Not bad.