I Know An X

Sweezus, Arthur and Humboldt cycle past Gaius, who is on his way to the station.

Gaius waves them down.

Arthur, would you mind going back to Maldonado's. I don't have a pencil.

I've got a pencil, says Arthur. You can have it.

It's a pen, says Gaius. But I suppose it will do. Are you boys planning to cycle all the way to Salinas?

Not in one go, says Sweezus. We'll stop over night in Guayaquil. So today, it's just six hours straight riding.

Humboldt winces.

You winced, Humboldt, says Gaius. That is a signal to me that you should catch the train.

No, says Humboldt. I must harden up. My knee is healing. My blue hiking boots are comfortable. It's the saddle.

You'll get used to it, says Sweezus.

You'll enjoy Schopenhauer's bike when it arrives, says Gaius. It was custom built with a San Marco saddle.

Very nice, says Humboldt. I look forward to that saddle.

Enjoy your ride to Guayaquil says Gaius. He turns towards the station.

Sweezus, Arthur and Humboldt continue.

Six hours, says Humboldt. Does that include stopping?

Yeah, ten minute lunch break, says Sweezus.

It's lunch time, says Arthur.

I know, says Sweezus.

They stop at a cafe, and order salchipapas and three cafés con leche.

We should've brought the waxworms, says Sweezus.

You're joking, says Arthur.

We could sell Sea Salt and pay as we go, says Sweezus.

Do that anyway, says Arthur.

We could charge more if it came with a waxworm, says Sweezus.

True, says Arthur.

Let me try, says Humboldt. I am intrigued by your business plan. Give me a sample.

Arthur pours out a few grains.

Wish me luck, says Humboldt.

He goes up to the counter. Speaks to the barista. Sprinkles the grains.

The barista looks sceptical. Then enlightened. He beams and nods benignly. Waves a dismissive finger.

Humboldt returns.

No charge for the salchipapas, says Humboldt.

What about the cafés con leche? says Arthur.

I didn't like to push it, says Humboldt. Without the waxworms.

What was the prognostication? asks Sweezus.

A cross, says Humboldt.

Fuck that, says Sweezus. Is it still on the counter?

I suppose so, says Humboldt.

I'm not going over, says Sweezus. Arthur you go.

Arthur goes over. Comes back.

X, says Arthur.

I know a cross when I see it, says Humboldt.

And I know an X, says Arthur. Leave it at that.

They exit the cafe. The barista bows slightly.