Sorry To Say This

Salinas.

Sweezus, Arthur and Humboldt wheel their bikes along the Malecón boardwalk.

Sweezus enters a surf shop.

Five minutes later, comes out.

You want dangerous? asks Sweezus. If we head to the end of the peninsula, there's this FAE naval base, so you have to get permission, but they reckon it's easy to get, and there's this cool surf spot called La Chocolatera, no sand, but a rocky beach and powerful churning swells....

Sounds good, says Arthur, who has perked up since they got there.

Mm, says Humboldt. What about surfboards?

Already hired 'em, says Sweezus.

Santiago comes out with three shortboards.

How you guys gonna do this? asks Santiago. You got no surfboard bike racks. You wanna hire them as well?

Guess we pretty much have to, says Sweezus.

Arthur forks out the money.

If it was left up to him, he would have tried Sea Salt. Santiago looks susceptible

They ride off towards La Chocolatera, with their surfboards attached.

Sweezus's phone rings. It's Gaius.

Greetings, says Gaius. How goes the novice?

Who? says Sweezus.

Humboldt, says Gaius. Is he improving?

Yeah, he's cool, says Sweezus. Rode all the way to Salinas. We're just about to go surfing.

Nowhere too dangerous, I trust, says Gaius. The Tour's just a week off.

Not heaps dangerous, says Sweezus. Shit, only a week off! That means.....

I've had a few thoughts, says Gaius. Regarding logistics. You could fly direct to Nantes from Guayaquil. It's three hours shorter.

Awesome, says Sweezus. That's what we'll do.

Wait, says Gaius. The problem is, you are on borrowed bicycles.

Bugger, says Sweezus.

What is it? asks Arthur.

Fuck-ups, says Sweezus.

No need for that language, says Gaius. And then there is Terence.

Double fuckups! says Sweezus.

WHAT? says Arthur.

Calm down, says Gaius. I have been speaking to Maldonado. He suggests you put the bikes on the train.

Yeah, brilliant, says Sweezus. What about Terence?

Would you trust Saint Roley to accompany Terence to Guayaquil by train? asks Gaius.

Like, what kind of mood is he in at the moment? asks Sweezus.

Saint Roley? asks Gaius. Achieving equanimity, after losing that guinea pig he was attached to.

I mean Terence, says Sweezus.

Oh, Terence, says Gaius. This may or may not be a problem. He has become attached to some wasps.

Wasps doesn't sound like an insurmountable problem.

They'll soon get tired of Terence. Or more likely get randomly swatted.

Yeah okay, says Sweezus. How's Ibarra?

I am feeling a little superfluous, here, says Gaius.

A normal dude would sympathise.

But Sweezus (sorry to say this) sees us all as a little superfluous.