Six Heartless Elements

Sweezus and Arthur arrive at Maldonado's front door.

The front door is open.

They go inside.

Bet Gaius is in the frog room, says Sweezus.

You go, says Arthur. I'm heading for the kitchen.

He heads for the kitchen, hoping to find leftovers.

Sweezus enters the frog room just as the leader waxworm is speaking.

It was high handed, says the leader waxworm.

All right, I admit that, says Humboldt. It's one of the faults of Romantic philosophy.

Which is, asks the waxworm.

One of the faults, or the whole thing? asks Humboldt.

Don't confuse me, says the waxworm. I'm a simple waxworm.

Far out! says Sweezus. A talking caterpillar! What's the answer?

Inexplicable, says Gaius. It eats plastic.

No way! says Sweezus. That's awesome. Yeah, but I really meant what's Romantic philosophy?

There are six elements, says Humboldt.

I think you'll find there are one hundred and eighteen, says Gaius.

Not those elements, says Humboldt. But meine Güte! Are there now so many?

Yes, says Gaius. I like  to keep up with chemistry.

You must tell me the latest ones, says Humboldt. But not now. I must answer Herr Sweezus.

No one calls me Herr Sweezus, says Sweezus.

Fine, says Humboldt. Sweezus. Element one: A belief in the individual or common man.

There you have it, says the waxworm.

Do not jump to conclusions, says Humboldt. Element two: Love of and reverence for nature.

Empty rhetoric, sneers the waxworm.

What's up with the caterpillar? asks Sweezus.

Humboldt threw his fellow waxworms out of the window to be eaten by the children's frogs, which he also let out of the window, says Gaius.

When you put it like that it does seem rather heartless, says Humboldt. I didn't know the frogs belonged to children. I love children.

Arthur comes in, eating a leftover tánta wawa.

Any more of those? asks Sweezus.

Last one, says Arthur.

Arthur! says Gaius. It good you're here. Now what do you think? Do I have time for a lightning trip to Imbabura?

Sure, says Arthur.

Even though the Tour de France approaches? says Gaius. And we need some time to prepare, do we not, Humboldt?

Ah yes, about that.....I was going to say.... says Humboldt.

Is he going in it? asks Sweezus.

Yes, I am, says Humboldt. I have the utmost confidence in myself but...

But what? says Gaius. You haven't ridden a bike for some time? Is that it?

Close, says Humboldt.