Females Not

The two female sand crabs have been obliged to climb out of the breakfast bowls.

Just for a few minutes, says Gaius. I need to fill them with seawater.

You could have poured the seawater in around us, grumbles Alexander-Yellowsun. Now I've dropped some more eggs.

You poor darling, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Bother! says Gaius. I didn't need that complication.

He scrapes out the eggs.

Don't worry dear, he'll keep them, says Alexander-Red Hook. He's got your other eggs wrapped up in paper.

So I have, says Gaius. Now where did I put that paper?

The egg paper? says Kierkegaard, who is watching. I've got it right here.

He unwraps the egg paper, and Gaius transfers the new eggs to the paper.

This was Robbie's paper, with his poem on it, says Kierkegaard. When are we giving it back?

Not yet, says Gaius. Now, do we have a control crab?

Terence is just choosing one now, says Kierkegaard. It's between Alexander-Groovy and these two females.

No one told us about THAT, says Alexander-Red-Hook. 

So why has Terence eliminated the other two males? asks Gaius. 

They eliminated themselves, says Kierkegaard. 

Terence! says Gaius. Who is it to be?

Terence comes over, holding Alexander-Groovy.

Him, says Terence. He answered the last question.

The two females can't believe it. There were questions? No one asked them.

Gaius can see that the female crabs are not content with the process.

Wait, says Gaius. Terence, you have not included the females. Why might that be?

I was going to, says Terence.

It's not too late, says Gaius. 

It is, says Alexander-Groovy. I've been elected control crab.

Unfairly, says Alexander-Red-Hook.The process is being restarted. Ask us the questions.

I can't ask question one, says Terence. It's a daft question.

(he has remembered)

Ask it anyway, says Alexander-Yellowsun. 

Okay. Who's the strongest? says Terence. 

Why does the control crab need to be the strongest? asks Alexander-Red-Hook

We've been through that, says Kierkegaard. He doesn't.

He or she doesn't, snaps Alexander-Red-Hook. What qualities ARE required?

The ability to cope with boredom, says Gaius. The control crab must live in a bowl of seawater with no intervention for as long as it takes for the other subjects to... ahem... expire.

Boredom! says Kierkegaard. Too much information. Now no one will want to be the control crab!