Sexist I Know

I hope you don't mind, says Kierkegaard. I had to borrow your shorts.

I didn't know I had those, says Gaius. In fact, they might be Arthur's.

Yes, they are Arthur's old ones, with purple skulls.

I thought they weren't really your style, says Kierkegaard.

They're not yours either, says Gaius. But never mind. We have a solution to our problem.

Which was? asks Kierkegaard,

How to distinguish the sand crabs from one another, says Gaius.

Can't they do that? asks Kierkegaard.

Of course they can, says Gaius, but imagine this scenario. There are four sand crabs in olive containers, all named Alexander. There are two additional sand crabs in breakfast bowls, also named Alexander. There is a storm, and a power blackout. The sand crabs panic. When the power comes back on, they may or may not return to their proper containers, in their confusion.

Or breakfast bowls, says Kierkegaard.

Yes, or breakfast bowls, says Gaius. Do you see the problem?

They may or may not return, says Kierkegaard. If they don't, we have lost them.

That is not what I was referring to, says Gaius. They MAY return to their designated container or bowl, but they may return to another.

Either way, we've got them, says Kierkegaard. I don't see the problem.

If they return to the wrong concentration of microplastics-in-solution, says Gaius, our results will be nullified.

I see! says Kierkegaard. Forgive me for being a dunce. It must be these shorts.

I fail to see how, says Gaius. But anyway, we have a solution. Their names on their backs in different fonts. This sand crab has already made the wise choice of Times Roman.

No, that was Alexander, says the fifth Alexander. I fancied Red Hook.

I prefer the traditional fonts, says Gaius. Tried and tested.

Some of the sand crabs look disappointed.

Gaius relents.

In the end, after much consultation with the sand crabs, and help from Kobo regarding what is the latest (who knew?), and scoffing from Ageless (less than helpful), the sand crabs are individually fonted, as we see below:

Alexander ( male) . font: Curly
Alexander ( male) . font: Times Roman
Alexander ( male) . font: Groovy
Alexander ( male) . font: Retro
Alexander ( female) . font: Red Hook
Alexander ( female) . font: Yellowsun

This is how Kierkegaard recorded it.

Sexist, I know.