Real Laser Sword

Gaius returns home with a bucket of seawater.

I had no end of trouble on the bus with this seawater, says Gaius.

You should have taken a lid, says Belle.

Hello, Belle! says Gaius Why are you here?

Dropping off Terence, and giving Sören advice, says Belle.

Really, says Gaius. What does he need advice for? I left clear instructions.

Let me enumerate, says Kirkegaard.

Firstly: as to the suitability of using tap water in our experiment.

Secondly: as to what to do now the control crab is no more

Thirdly: ....

What! says Gaius. The control crab is no more? What happened?

Ahem, says Kierkegaard. Perhaps Terence should explain.

Gaius looks enquiringly at Terence, who is pretending a salt cellar is a real laser sword.

What? asks Terence.

What happened? asks Gaius.

I went to look for Alexander-Times-Roman, says Terence. I was running, to find him fast. But I didn't know what he would look like, and there was a crab in my way and I didn't know it was him and he said watch out stupid.

Then what? says Gaius.

He broke, says Terence.

Belle shows Gaius the two pieces of Alexander-Times-Roman, in a olive container, sprinkled lightly with salt.

I put salt on him, says Terence. Not pepper.

Ah yes, the pepper, says Kierkegaard. To continue:

Thirdly: as to how to remove pepper from two female crabs who were threatening to withdraw from the experiment.

Gaius peers at the two female crabs reclining in their breakfast bowls showing no evidence of discontentment, or pepper.

Kierkegaard resumes:

Fourthly: as to how to get the brown stain off these shorts.

Aha! says Gaius. I wondered why you were walking around in your underpants.