Red Spitball Wedding

Kierkegaard makes up three different solutions.

Gaius transfers the three male sand crabs to the salad bowls.

Terence asks if he can pour in the water.

Better not, says Gaius. We'll let Kierkegaard do it.

What can I do? asks Terence.

Go and ask Alexander-Red-Hook and Alexander-Yellowsun if they're content in the breakfast bowls, says Gaius. And don't mention an alternative.

Shouldn't he ask if they'd like extra seawater? asks Kierkegaard.

Yes, ask them, says Gaius, but don't take no for an answer.

I never do, says Terence.

He goes over to where the two female crabs are relaxing in breakfast bowls and speaking of romance.

They could even get married, says Alexander-Yellowsun.

But what would he wear? asks Alexander-Red-Hook.

Who cares what HE wears? says Alexander-Yellowsun. What would SHE wear?

O, says Alexander-Red-Hook, I think HE ought to wear something that suits the occasion. It goes without saying that SHE would.

He might not have anything but those damp purple shorts with the skulls on, says Alexander-Yellowsun.

Hee-hee, laughs Alexander-Red-Hook. But no, he does have some trousers. I think Gaius intends to press them under his mattress.

That's ingenious, says Alexander-Yellow-Sun.

As long as the base doesn't have wooden slats, says Alexander-Red-Hook.

Both crabs laugh, picturing Kierkegaard's neatly ridged trousers.

They are about to turn their attention to the more fascinating question of what Belle would wear, when Terence appears, with his question.

I have a question, says Terence.

I hope it's not about which bowls we're in, says Alexander-Yellowsun.

(Remember, they swapped bowls for forty five minutes).

It sort of is, says Terence.

Oops, says Alexander-Yellowsun. We'll be swapping back soon.

Does that mean you're not happy? says Terence.

We're very happy, says Alexander-Red-Hook. We're talking about weddings. Have you ever been to a wedding?

No, says Terence. Not TO one, but I've been OVER hundreds.

Over hundreds? says Alexander-Red-Hook. What on earth are  you talking about?

I used to live over the front door of a palace, says Terence.

How glorious! Tell us about the brides' dresses, says Alexander-Yellowsun.

We used to drop red spitballs down onto them, says Terence. Me and my parrot.

Not quite what the crabs were expecting.