Piffle To A Wallet

Did Arthur buy return tickets? asks Pierre-Louis. 

I imagine so, says Gaius. But where would I have put them?

Won't they be on your phone? asks Pierre-Louis.

Yes, of course, says Gaius. 

He checks his old emails.

hum... hum... hum...

You should get one of those wallets, says Pierre-Louis.

Piffle, says Gaius. Aha! Here they are! Two return tickets. But curses! They've expired.

We'll have to book new tickets, says Pierre-Louis.

Not so fast, says Gaius. I'm sure Arthur can sort it.

He calls Arthur.

Hello Gaius, says Arthur. Are you on your way home?

We're trying, says Gaius. But the return tickets you bought have expired.

And you want me to fix it, says Arthur.

If you would, says Gaius. We need to come home.

I'll get back to you, says Arthur.

What's up with Gaius? asks Sweezus.

His train ticket's expired, says Arthur. He wants me to fix it.

Stingy old bugger, says Sweezus. Are you going to?

Might as well try, says Arthur. 

The truth is, he likes this sort of thing.

He calls the Overland Office, and spins them a story.

Gaius, an ecological warrior, was doing important work on extinctions in the central highlands when the accident happened, and he broke his leg. He was out there in the cold for several days, surviving only thanks to his companion, but tragically they have now missed their return trip to Adelaide on the Overland train. Why tragically? Because they have just heard that Gaius' grandfather has died.

How terrible! says the admin person. I'll see what I can do. Stay with me....Yes, we've had a  cancellation.

Two cancellations? asks Arthur.

Yes a double, says the admin. And there'll be no charge, as it's for compassionate reasons. I'll change the date on the tickets. Tell them to come to the station an hour before departure and see me. Ask for Rebecca.

Thanks, Rebecca, says Arthur.

He calls Gaius.

Well? asks Gaius.

You're booked on the Overland tomorrow, says Arthur. Go to the office and ask for Rebecca.

What would I do without you? says Gaius.

Pay for new tickets, says Arthur.

Ha ha, laughs Gaius. 

One thing, says Arthur. They think your grandfather died.

What? says Gaius. He died long ago. 

Just go along with it, says Arthur. And limp a bit.

I don't see why, says Gaius. But I will, if I remember. Thanks Arthur.

What's this you have to do? asks Pierre-Louis.

Limp a bit, says Gaius.

Probably so that they recognise you, says Pierre-Louis.

That will be it, says Gaius.