Am I Here After ?

Now what am I here after? said Pliny the Elder, coming into the room.

I don't know. The fish-topped pencil? I hazarded a guess.

No, he said . What AM I here after. I think you misinterpreted Faye's misprint yesterday. You said you thought AS should have been WAS, but I suggest the correct reading should have been AM.

Really? I said. I suppose you could be right. It all boils down to 2 questions. Is it more likely that someone would come into a room and say, Now what was I here after? Or would they say, Now what am I here after?

Are those the 2 questions? asked Pliny, looking doubtful.

No that's just the first question, I replied. The second question is, which is the more likely misprint, AS for AM , or AS for WAS? Let us look at a keyboard.

We looked at my keyboard.

If S was closer to M, I said to Pliny, I would be inclined to believe you. But it is not near it. The S is the second letter in from the left in the middle row, and the M is the very last letter on the bottom row. Isn't it more likely that the typist meant to type WAS and simply omitted the first letter, due to carelessness?

Perhaps it is, said Pliny. Congratulations on your use of the scientific method. But there remains the first question. What is the person more likely to say?

Let's try an experiment, I suggested. You go out of the room and come back in. Pretend you've come in to get something but you've forgotten what it is. Let's see what you say.

Alright, said Pliny, and went out, closing the door.

He didn't come back for ages. When he did, I looked up at him expectantly.

He didn't say anything, but started rummaging through the drawers and shelves.

What are you here after? I asked.

That dratted fish-topped pencil, he said.