Too Famous

This is a rare treat, says Aristotle, coming through the front door with Pliny the Elder. Hardly anyone invites me out to dinner any more.

Perhaps you are too famous, I reply.

How does that work? he asks. Shouldn't I be asked out to dinner all the time?

No, you are too scary, I say. I have been thinking in syllogisms all day because you were coming.

Oh you mustn't be afraid of me, says he. What are we eating? It smells delicious.

Vegetarian moussaka, without tomatoes.

Ah! And may I enquire as to the reasoning behind that choice?

I chose it because it was Greek, and you are Greek; but I made it vegetarian, because you are vegetarian; and I left out the tomatoes because Pliny hates tomatoes.

Bravo! says Aristotle. The virtuous Golden Mean.

It all seems to be going rather well. We sit down at the table. Aristotle beams round at everyone.

Do have some of this moussaka before it gets cold, I say.

I believe the Arabs eat it cold, says Aristotle.

Tell us how it came about that you invented logic, my friend, says Pliny.

Ah yes, well, as you know I studied under Plato. He saw everything in terms of universal forms. That made it very difficult to come to any conclusions. There is an ideal apple, he would say. And this real apple is just a poor example of it. Well, I used to think, so what? You couldn't conclude anything about apples from that. I decided to turn his ideal apple idea on its head. Look at real apples, I said. You can learn everything about apples from studying them.

Brilliant, I say, that's true. So you invented the scientific method as well. Now tell me, what do you think of my moussaka?

Wonderful, my dear! An inspired choice for an old man who doesn't have very many teeth.

Pliny gives me a wink. I don't say anything.