Fork Off

How is it funny advice? asked Pliny the Elder.

Well, you know, even if heaven is smiling and so on, it's a bad idea to press on before the lights turn green, I answered.

Oh I see, he said. Is that the way it works? You must only cross when the light turns green? I go whenever I see the little red or green walking man.

Then heaven must certainly be smiling on you, I said.

Yes, I shall revise my practice, said Pliny. As to the advice on the church poster, apart from its inappropriateness in the vicinity of traffic lights, what do you suppose it to mean? You said you liked it.

Well, I said, although I thought heaven and the angels were a bit over the top, I really liked Press on. It's such an encouraging exhortation for anyone whose resolve is faltering.

I agree with that, said Pliny. I do not like heaven and the angels either. If heaven and the angels are smiling and rejoicing over you, why in the name of all the gods would you want to press on? Surely you would do well to remain exactly where you were.

I hadn't thought of that, I said, but you are quite right. Church posters often do say funny things. Today we drove past one which said, If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Strange advice, agreed Pliny.

Strangely appropriate for us as it happened, I said. We were about to take the first road on the right. But as a general piece of advice, I found it wanting. It doesn't tell you which fork to take. It's fine if you're on a main road and another road forks off. But what if you're on a road that forks in two directions?

In that case, said Pliny, it would pay to have some idea of where you were going, and press on.