Preserving the Unities

Aristotle was right, observed Pliny the Elder. It is good to preserve the unities of action, time and space.

These are postmodern times I replied. I suppose you are referring to the orang-utan.

Yes, he answered. You did not go to the zoo.

It was the best thing that happened that day, I countered. And I saw it on the news.

That would cut no mustard with Aristotle, said Pliny.

Did you know him? I asked.

Not until after the volcano, said Pliny. But then we became quite good friends. He was about 350 years older than me. He was said to be the last man to know everything that was currently known about everything.

Really, I said. That is pretty amazing.

Yes, he said, but untrue. He once wrote that men had more teeth than women. Something very easy to disprove. But on the whole his ideas are much to be admired. He singlehandedly invented logic, did you know?

No, I didn't. I would very much like to meet him, but I suppose that's out of the question.

Not at all. I will invite him round to dinner if you wish.

Perfect! A fig for the unities! Do you think he might be partial to moussaka?