Zoroaster's Cheese

Here it is, I said, taking the cheese out of the fridge.

It is certainly small, said Pliny. What sort of cheese is it? Was it costly?

Quite costly, I replied. It's Callington Vintage cheese. Hand made, I think. Would you like some?

I cut him a small crumb of the cheese. He tasted it, and sighed.

Ah, he said, this is the sort of cheese that is never the worse for age. I imagine it was cheese like this that Zoroaster ate while living in the wilderness for twenty years.

Zoroaster liked cheese? I asked, surprised.

I don't know that he liked it. He is reputed to have lived on it for all that time. But of course, he was thinking of other things. Humata, Hukhta, Huvarashta. Good Thoughts, Good Words, Good Deeds.

In any case, I said, he must have had very strong bones.

Not only that, said Pliny. His brain was so active that if you were to place your hand upon his head, it would instantly be shaken off.

Is that to be attributed to his thoughts or the cheese, I asked.

You may be sure it was attributable to his thoughts. He invented magic, you know. And his works amount to two million lines.

But couldn't his thoughts have been engendered by the cheese? I persisted. I know that cheese is meant to give you nightmares if you eat too much at bedtime. Perhaps that was where all his magical thoughts came from?

Nonsense! said Pliny. He was only eating cheese for twenty years. When he came back from the wilderness, I daresay he never touched the stuff again.