Seeing Red

Yes, admitted Pliny the Elder, red-faced, but I wrote it a very long time ago.

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The newspaper was full of pictures of a massive red dust storm over Sydney. An elderly woman in a swimsuit emerged from a red sea under an orange sky.

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It's black flower time. There are piles of tiny black flowers in the back garden. They've fallen from the variegated pittosporum tree. They aren't black really, but the blackest, plummiest shade of red.

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At quarter to six this morning I was woken by a noise. An electronic sound, like Nnn!Nnn!
It seemed to be coming from somewhere outside. A minute later it went again. Nnn! Nnn! and continued at one minute intervals until it was time for me to get up. I never found out what it was, but I am pretty sure it emanated from something that was glowing bright red.

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Is this some unfathomable female way of embarrassing me? asked Pliny.