Le Bon David and The VeloDrone are watching the final moments of Stage 4 of the Tour Down Under in the back of their campervan, and eating Goolwa fish and chips from a paper bag.
The VeloDrone: Merde! The German wins again! I don't believe it! He complained of muscle cramps yesterday.
Le Bon David: Lucky you're not a betting man.
The VeloDrone: Normally, that would be true.
Le Bon David: Oh dear.
The VeloDrone: ( glumly) It doesn't matter.
Le Bon David: No. I mean, Oh dear, look what's happening now!
They turn their attention to the tiny television set, where Phil Liggett is interviewing Team Existentialist about their possible disqualification.
Phil Liggett: So, Professor Freud, what happened back there?
Professor Freud: A complete debacle! Stones everywhere!
Phil Liggett: You claim that people in the crowd were throwing stones?
Professor Freud: No no, we were throwing the stones. But Rousseau was throwing his deliberately backwards, Sartre was throwing his stones at the trees, and I was throwing stones at them to try and make them stop.
Rousseau: What's this! You claim I did something wrong?
Professor Freud: Yes, you did, and so did Jean Paul.
Jean Paul Sartre: An existentialist does what he feels is contingent upon him to do.
Rousseau: As for me, I never claimed to be an existentialist. I am a Romantic. I do what I feel I must do. And as I do not wish to be hit on the head with a stone, I throw it behind me, in case Galileo is right.
Freud: Well, you got hit in the back by my stone! And that served you right.
Jean Paul Sartre: So did I. And all I did was throw stones at a tree!
Phil Liggett: Well, well, calm down gentlemen. It remains to be seen whether your team will be disqualified, although it won't make any difference to the overall results. But you'll be pleased to know that Professor Freud has been conditionally awarded today's jersey for the Most Aggressive Rider.
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