Pliny's Roman Menu

What's this? says Pliny. Pliny's Roman Menu. What are you doing with this? Let me see.

No, Pliny it's mine.

How can it be yours? It's got my name on it.

I'm making a birthday card for someone, and I'm doing it in the form of a Roman Menu. I thought he might like to see the sorts of things you Romans used to eat at your banquets.

What sorts of things? Let me have a look. Oh, Jellyfish and eggs for starters, Yes, yes, that would be very nice, and Cows Udders stuffed with salted sea urchins, good. Also Patina of Brains, baked with milk and eggs, and Boiled Tree Fungi in peppered fish fat sauce. These are all delightful dishes, and recall most pleasant memories.

You really did eat these things, Pliny?

Hardly ever. I was known for my austerity and was usually far too busy to eat any but the simplest of foods, but I must admit to enjoying the occasional more indulgent sort of dinner. What's the first course?

Dormice stuffed with port and dormouse legs, Peacock eggs, Beans, asparagus and lettuce.

Very good indeed. But you may have trouble finding some of these things in the shops.

What do you mean Pliny?

For my birthday dinner.

For your ......? Oh, but it wasn't.......Oh, yes. I shall just have to do my best with what's available, I suppose.