The Ribbon

I miss Ageless too, said Pliny. And all his little stories.

Well, we're having a break, I said firmly. If you want a little story I'll tell you one.

What is it about? he asked suspiciously.

It's about me buying a ribbon, I said.

I won't like it, said Pliny.

Wait and see. Here it is: The Ribbon. I was in Spotlight yesterday buying a ribbon. I wanted a ribbon to wear with a dress that was pink and white and grey. I looked at the ribbons. Should I buy an orange ribbon? Or a purple or a green?

Why would you buy an orange ribbon? asked Pliny. It would clash.

That is the fun of shopping for ribbons, I replied. You can dream. Anyway I chose grey ribbon. I took the roll of ribbon to the counter. There was a young man serving. He was tall and thin and wore a silver earring. I needed to ask him a question.

Excuse me I said. I want to buy enough ribbon to go around here and tie in a bow. Do you think one and a half metres would be enough?

Where was here? asked Pliny.

Under the bust line, I said primly.

Good gracious! said Pliny. Were you flirting with the young man?

Certainly not! I replied. He was half my age! I will measure it out, he said. And then you can decide. He spoke rather posh English.

He measured out a metre and a half of grey ribbon. There, he said, that's one and a half.

I think I'll have two metres, I said, to be on the safe side. If it's too long I can always cut some off.

Yes, agreed the young man. He measured out the ribbon, cut it and turned to the cash register. He keyed in some numbers. He looked confused. He asked another assistant a technical cash register question. She answered his question. He continued to key. That's one ninety five he said finally.

The ribbon was one twenty nine a metre. It should have been two sixty for two. I gave him three dollars. Several seconds elapsed. You gave me too much, he said, handing over my change.

I was about to say, didn't you give me two metres?

But I decided not to say anything, because I didn't want to embarrass him.

Is that it? asked Pliny.

Yes, I said. That's it.

That is shocking on so many levels, said Pliny.