Plato The Horse And The Bicycle

Which bike shop? says Vello, looking at David.

The Treadly Bike Shop, says David. The best place, don't you think, to seek the Platonic ideal?

I do, says Vello. A bicycle that embodies all bicycleness. Sam will come up with the goods.

Who's coming? says David.

Everyone is coming. Who would want to miss this?

Ten minutes later they are in Ebenezer Place, at the Treadly Bike Shop.

Hi guys, says Sam. Looking for something particular?

Hello Sam, says Vello. Our friend here, Herr Schopenhauer, is after a custom built bike. He has never ridden before. He wishes the bike to embody a general bicycleness, and be comfortable to ride.

Can do, says Sam. Bit of this, bit of that. Hola! General bicycleness. I'll put something together. See what you think. Come back in an hour. Go get a coffee or something. Sweezie! Wanna stay and help out?

Yeah, cool, says Sweezus.

Wait a minute, says Schopenhauer. Shouldn't I have some input?

No, says Sam. Did Plato have input into the ideal horse?  I don't think so. Ideal things are what they are.

Schopenhauer is thinking:  That is all very well, but Plato didn't have to pay for the horse.

David, Vello, Katherine, Gaius and Ray walk out of the bike shop.

We've just had a coffee, says Ray.

Lets go to the Belgian Beer Cafe, says Vello.

What an excellent idea. It is just round the corner. They go.

......

In the Treadly Bike Shop, Sam and Sweezus get busy.

Blue Gios frame, Shimano wheels, Schwalbe tyres, Knog lights, tan San Marco saddle and Ass Saver mudguards. Old world bicycle bell by Velo Orange. Fixed gears.

Woah! This bike is mental! says Sweezus.

That's the idea, says Sam. Your friend, is he that philosopher?

Yeah, Schopenhauer, says Sweezus. Pain and suffering in an irrational world, that's his thing.....

Pain and suffering, says Sam thoughtfully. What d'you reckon? Should we ditch the mudguards?

No way, says Sweezus. He wears these clean old dude type German trousers. There's pain and suffering, and there's laundry. Know what I mean?

Yeah, says Sam. I get that philosophy.

........

One hour later, the drinking party returns from the Belgian Beer Cafe.

O the pleasures of drinking.

Schopenhauer is delighted with his bicycle, a steal at two hundred dollars, due to the expedient of Sam using recycled parts.

Gaius is delighted to see that Schopenhauer does not flinch at paying out two hundred dollars, and decides there and then that he will make an excellent travelling companion.

David and Vello are pleased at the irony of Schopenhauer having a Platonic bicycle, and particularly tickled by the Ass Saver mudguards.

Katherine cannot wait to see Herr Schopenhauer's bottom come up sharp against the reality of the smart tan San Marco saddle.

Ray has no opinion.  He has drunk too much Belgian Beer. He is thinking of his ex-wife Millicent, in Melbourne, and how she might get back with him, now that he has become a Baudelarian, and likes cats.....