If There's Only One Question What Is It?

Sweezus, says Gaius. Have you seen Arthur?

Yeah, says Sweezus. He was down at the surf shop with Belle.

Returning the Skull shorts? says Katherine.

Nah, says Sweezus. Looking for his old ones. He left them behind. His phone was in one of the pockets.

Ah, that explains everything, says Gaius. I shall ring him.

Good luck, says Sweezus. See you later, we're off to lunch.

Why don't you invite your friends to come with us? says Herr Schopenhauer ( who will not be paying ).

No need for that, says Katherine. They are just out of hospital.

Come on Gaius, says Vello. Come to lunch. It will do you good. And you too, Ray Moon. Get something inside you.

Yes, yes, says David. The more the merrier. Now where are we going?

Fair Espresso, says Vello. James Place.

They walk to Fair Espresso, in James Place.

It is tiny, but Vello has booked a long table.

Schopenhauer sits down.

Gaius sits beside him. Katherine sits on his other side.

Schopenhauer moves his chair slightly closer to Gaius.

So, says Gaius. Herr Schopenhauer. How are you liking it here?

It is not a question of liking it, says Schopenhauer. In fact there is only one question.

Heavy! says Sweezus. What is it?

What will you have? asks David.

Yes, says Katherine. Herr Schopenhauer, what will you have? Everything here is organic.

The question, says Herr Schopenhauer, is the one of existence. Most fools spend their entire lives avoiding the question.

Foccaccia? says David. They do a good one....

Life is a struggle, says Schopenhauer.

It certainly is, agrees Ray. My daughter recently toppled me from my pastoral position........

Unni? says Sweezus. How'd she do that?

God is not necessary, says Schopenhauer.

Rocket salad with pear and quinoa? says David.

Sounds delightful, says Katherine. But not for me.

If one is lucky enough to achieve some respite from the existential struggle, says Schopenhauer, then one is faced with the opposite question of boredom. What to do to fill in a day?

There is a sweet shop just up the road there, says Katherine. Blackeby's Old Sweet Shop. They sell very nice Humbugs. Do you like Humbugs?

Madam, says Schopehauer. I have never tried them.

Then you should, says Katherine.

I shall order for everyone, says David. It's the only way to get anything happening.

He orders Fair Trade espressos and tomato bruschettas for everyone.

It serves them right.

I find that travel, combined with scientific endeavour, is very pleasant, says Gaius.

Perhaps you are right, says Herr Schopenhauer. I assume that you are both a traveller and a scientist?

I am, says Gaius. I shall shortly set off for Tasmania, seeking the Giant Lion's Mane Jellyfish, with my right hand man, Arthur.

How will you travel? asks Schopenhauer.

Ah, that is an unresolved question, says Gaius.

No it isn't, says Schopenhauer. There is only one question.

Everyone at the table looks doubtful.

I say, Schopenhauer, says David suddenly. Do you ride a bicycle? We neglected to ask you.

How remiss, says Vello. Do you?

Why? says Schopenhauer, surprised at the new question.

The tomato bruschettas arrive.