On The Suffering Of The World

The waiter brings over more drinks.

Arthur is drinking tequila Mexican style with sangrita. The snakes prefer absinthe.

That's two lies you've told us, says Charles, his eyes like green pinpoints of light pricking Arthur's blue ones.

Arthur looks down.

Thief of fire, says Charles Red-belly.

What is it you want? says Arthur.

His knees are itchy. The Skull shorts are new, and their pockets are empty.

The snakes are not looking at Arthur, but at the television screen in the corner, where a python is swallowing an alligator.

.......

In Ward 5, Ray Moon has emerged from the bedclothes.

What day is it? groans Ray Moon.

Tuesday, says Sweezus.

Tuesday! says Gaius. I had something to do on Tuesday. What was it?

Sweezus, says Ray. Forgive me!

Geez Ray, says Sweezus. What for?

I no longer believe, says Ray. I'm now a Beaudelarian.

Awesome! says Sweezus. That's cool. I'm into Schopenhauer.

Schopenhauer! says Belle et Bonne. Wasn't it him that said that thing about animals eating each other?

Yeah, that's him, says Sweezus, If you think enjoyment outweighs pain in this world, compare the feelings of an animal engaged in eating another with the feelings of the one being eaten. Epic!

Ray sinks back under the covers.

Gaius remembers what it was he was supposed to be doing on Tuesday.

The Sprigg Lecture! he cries, hitting the side of his head with the pee bottle.

Careful, says the nurse, coming over. She takes the pee bottle away.

I really wanted to go to that lecture, says Gaius. It's at the Museum. I booked a ticket.

It's just up the road, says Belle et Bonne. Maybe you could......

No, he couldn't, says the nurse, coming back with a sputum mug. Doctor wants to do some more tests.
Spit into this Mr Secundus.

I don't want one, says Gaius. I feel better already.

But the nurse has gone out of the ward. ( She is busy ).

What is it? asks Sweezus.

Apparently, says Gaius, it's a sputum mug. We shouldn't have asked for a 'jar'.

No, the lecture, says Sweezus.

Oh, the lecture! says Gaius. It's called, if I remember.....Riding The Ediacaran Wave.

Mega! says Sweezus. A lecture on surfing! How come?

Gaius does not disabuse him. He has thought of a brilliant plan.

Perhaps you could go in my place, says Gaius. You could take notes.

Sure, says Sweezus. Count me in. Have you got any paper?

Gaius thinks he may have some somewhere.

And a pen or a pencil? says Sweezus.

Does anyone have a pen or a pencil?

Sweezus is poked in the back by a small pointy object.

Ray still has his crucifix pencils.