The Problem Of Suffering

Ring, ring! Hello?

David? says Vello.

Vello! At last! says David. Where the dickens have you been?

Long story, says Vello. I've been, er.... mistaken for Jacques Cousteau, the famous underwater explorer.

You don't need to explain who he IS, says David. But isn't he deceased?

It doesn't seem to matter on Kangaroo Island, says Vello. Life is less frenetic.

All the same, says David. It's either life or it isn't.

I agree entirely, says Vello. But to continue, I was invited to go wreck diving by the Froggs and Dan Diver....

Ha ha, laughs David.

And I left my phone at Stokes Bay, along with my bicycle. So I only just got your message.

Wonderful isn't it! says David.

That is not quite the adjective I had in mind, says Vello. Indecipherable, more like it. What are slout shzs?

Slout shuz? says David. How did I spell it?

SLOUT SHZS says Vello. 2 SLOUT SHZS THS WKND !!

Ah!  says David. I forgot how old fashioned you are. It's the new form of text writing. It's faster.

David, says Vello, it's not faster if it needs explaining. Explain it!

Two sellout shows this weekend!, says David. Simple. Now....

Not so fast, says Vello. How do you get shows out of shzs? Where does the z come from?

Stop fuming, says David. I'm sorry. I was all thumbs, due to excitement. You'll be back tomorrow?

Yes, yes, says Vello.

And Sweezus? says David. Has he learned all his lines for Candide?

Yes, says Vello. Don't worry about anything. We'll see you tomorrow.

Break a leg, says David.

Old fool! says Vello, slamming the phone on the table.

So? says Victor. What did it mean then?

Two sellout shows, says Vello.

Excellent! says Gaius. Well done!

..........

The bad news is that Sweezus ( or even Arthur ) may have been eaten by a shark.

In the circumstances, Victor offers Vello a lift to Stokes Bay.

And me, says Terence.

Okay, says Victor. Let's go.

........

So, you're putting on Candide? says Victor. What's that about?

The problem of suffering, says Vello. It's a comedy.

Doesn't sound very funny, says Victor.

I was in it last year, says Terence.

Really? says Victor. Is there a part for a baby?

I wasn't a baby, says Terence. I was a sleeve.

You weren't a sleeve, says Vello. You were in a sleeve because your costume was too large. You played Doctor Pangloss.

And an otter, says Terence. I remember!

I don't remember an otter, says Vello.

You WROTE it! says Terence. And there were PINS in the sleeve.

Victor is beginning to see how it might be a comedy.

.......

Stokes Bay.

Victor pulls up in the police car.

Gets out of the police car. Races down to the beach.

There aren't that many people around. A few guys out on the water fishing.

A family paddling.

What's this though? Blood on the sand!