Which Parts Of Surfing Are Not Facts?

Sweezus produces a pen and some scissors.

Thank you, says Vello. Now I'll keep out of your hair.

He takes the Express Post bag, scissors and pen into the kitchen 

Roo-kai follows him.

Vello begins to slit the bag open.

He can hear Sweezus, continuing the interview.

So, yeah, says Sweezus. You reckon that facts are the world?

I did, says Wittgenstein. But I don't now.

Okay, says Sweezus. Wind back a bit to when that was what you reckoned.

All right, says Wittgenstein. I was a younger man then. I thought I had the answer.

Yeah, and what was it? asks Sweezus.

It seemed to be logical, says Wittgenstein. What else could there be?

Other stuff, says Sweezus. But this is your interview. 

No, go ahead, says Wittgenstein. 

Okay like, when you're surfing says Sweezus. That's not all facts.

Which parts of surfing are not facts? asks Wittgenstein.

The euphoria, says Sweezus. And the gravel rash.

I think you'll find gravel rash is a fact, says Wittgenstein. And so is euphoria, even though it's a feeling.

Gravel rash is a feeling, says Sweezus. 

I wouldn't know about that, says Wittgenstein.

You should come surfing with me and Arthur, says Sweezus. We're heading up to Queensland in a couple of days. If they don't close the border.

Surfing? says Wittgenstein. I've never done it.

Get on with the interview! says Vello, from the kitchen. 

How's it going? asks Wittgenstein. Got it open?

Of course I've got it open, says Vello. I've taken out the camera, and I'm about to write the address on the post bag.

The Presbyterians, says Wittgenstein. Are you sending it to a particular congregation?

None of your business! snaps Vello. Oh, curses!

He has written Presby... before Roo-kai can stop him.

The b and the y will have to be crossed out. 

And how will that look to the French president?

Perhaps you could cover it with a sticker? suggests Roo-kai.

Do we have any stickers? calls Vello.

Sweezus finds an old roll of white stickers at the back of the lower drawer of the desk he is sitting at.

Lucky.

Roo-kai comes out to get it.

So anyhow, says Sweezus, continuing the interview. What do you think now that's different? 

In a nutshell, says Wittgenstein. A word's use is its meaning.

That makes sense, says Sweezus.

Not to me, mutters Vello.