The Hitch Hiking Psychopath Version

An hour and a half later, Belle et Bonne and David pull up in Dublin and get out of the car.

They go into the roadhouse.

Hello, says Belle et Bonne to the proprietor. We're looking for our friends. Have you seen them?

(You can ask that in Dublin).

Two young chaps? says the proprietor, and a little girl dressed like a pixie?

Little girl, says Belle et Bonne. How little?

About this high, says the proprietor. She went off down the road in a huff. The two young fellas went after her.

We didn't see them, says David.

Don't know how you could miss 'em says the proprietor. Unless they got picked up by a psychopath.

Hitch hiking! says David. Very foolish.

Yep, agrees the proprietor. They could've got murdered.......

Belle et Bonne doesn't believe it.

Does anyone?

No, this is what really happened.

Belle et Bonne and David  pull up outside the roadhouse in Dublin.

Arthur and Sweezus come out.

Get in, you two, says Belle et Bonne. Move up in the back there, Janice.

Arthur and Sweezus get in, next to Janice.

Want a red snake? says Janice.

Awesome, says Sweezus. As long as it's clean.

It's as clean as it's long, says Janice. But it's not very long.

Now then says Belle et Bonne. You boys have some explaining to do. How could you let little Janice run off by herself in this heat and not even go after her!

Yes, how could they? It was most irresponsible.

And I'm only thirteen, says Janice.

We know, says Arthur. You left us a babyish clue.

Belle et Bonne starts the engine.

All's well that ends well, she says. Let's enjoy the drive home.

It's hardly attractive, says David. All those low red brown dead looking bushes.......

That's samphire, says Belle et Bonne. Some people like it. They call this the Samphire Coast.

There used to be statues, says Janice. A tin man.....

And a cockroach, says Sweezus. But it's gone.

How was your trip? asks David. Did you catch anything?

We caught it from Gaius, says Arthur. We wrote a truthful  report on the Twitcher, and Gaius got into trouble from the environmentalists and fundraisers.

But no cuttlies, says Sweezus.  So much for my food van.

You've got plenty of time, says Belle et Bonne. Forkmas was cancelled.

No kidding? says Sweezus. What's Forkmas?

You don't know? says Belle et Bonne. Honestly, you need a manager.

Yeah, says Sweezus. I do.

It was a special Christmas Fork On The Road pop up van dinner, says Belle. But it was too hot and windy, so they cancelled it. That means you have plenty of time till the next one.

Christmas time, sings Janice. Christ-m-a-a-a-a-a-s time! I love you.

Ah, says David. The simple joys of a child at Christmas. When we get back to Adelaide, the first thing we must do is find your daddy.

Janice turns her green eyes upon David.

No way José! I'm sticking with Arthur.

Sweezus punches Arthur in the arm that is closest.

Looks like Arthur's got an admirer.

That's not it, says Janice. He started it. Now he's stuck with his demon. Sucked in.

Everyone laughs except Arthur, to whom the hitch hiking psychopath version begins to look preferable.....