Who Dares Address A Shark Rudely?

Arthur and Sweezus are way down the beach, with the half empty bottle of absinthe.

Arthur kicks a pebble. Ow! His toe bleeds. Sand gets into it.

He walks into the water.

Yeah, says Sweezus, following him into the shallows. Shit happens sometimes. Bad psychology.

I don't do psychology, says Arthur, taking another swig of the absinthe.

Belle et Bonne does, says Sweezus. You should get her on side. She'll deal with Gaius.

I thought he wanted Lu Ban, says Arthur. He told me to fix it. I fixed it.

Then you fucked up, says Sweezus, grabbing the bottle, and tipping the green liquid down his throat. Glug.

Hey, this absinthe tastes funny! says Sweezus

It does too, says Arthur. Bit like melon.

Scheise! says Sweezus. Sour melon. You know what?

What? says Arthur. No don't tell me. Gaius and his sour grapes ....

Good guess, mate, says Sweezus. But it's worse than that ....

Ploooosh! up comes wee Janice. Out of the water behind them, still wearing the blue pixie hat, green eyes flashing, holding a bottle.

Har, says Janice, like a pirate.

Janice, says Sweezus. What's in that bottle?

Sour melon, says Janice. I think. Hic!

And? says Sweezus.

A bit of your absinthe, says Janice. It's the same colour. I tipped it in, but it was yucky, and I tipped it back.

You've adulterated it, says Sweezus.

You've adulterated everything, says Arthur.

Wow, and I'm only thirteen, says Janice, taking a deep breath and ducking her head under the water.

The point of the pixie hat swims round and round Sweezus and Arthur.

It looks like a shark.

Blub blub.

Actually.

It is a shark.

A shark! yells Arthur.

The shark opens its jaws in a menacing fashion.

Cool it, says Sweezus.

I beg your pardon! says the shark. Who dares to address me so rudely? This is my domain.

We were just leaving, says Sweezus. But first.....have you seen Janice?

What does she look like? asks the shark.

Green swimsuit, blue pointy hat, bottle, says Sweezus. You could hardly miss her.

The shark looks decidedly shifty.