Dan Monceaux goes up to the barman.
Where'd this come from? he says.
Mayor threw it at me, says the barman, shrugging his shoulders.
Dan Monceaux strides across to the Mayor with the crumpled paper.
Is this genuine? demands Dan Monceaux.
What? says the Mayor. It's a piece of crumpled up paper!
Not just any old piece of crumpled up paper, says Dan Monceaux.
He smoothes it out on the table in front of the Mayor.
Beverley and Brenda crane forward.
The Mayor reads aloud:
At the end of the week the Twitcher was allowed to leave Dubai and continue his journey to Kas where he was united with his Turkish beloved on a sea bed of transparent sands where they produced hundreds of progeny before gently expiring. The progeny exhibited red and gold colouring and above average size......
Ooh! says Beverley. It's about Twitcher!
The Mayor glares at Beverley, and continues:
Conclusion and recommendation: The expedition was spectacularly successful. Further investigation into the feasibility of importation into the Upper Spencer Gulf of a pre-determined proportion of Twitcher progeny from Kas is recommended.
The Mayor stops reading. There follows a stunned silence.
You know what this means, says Dan Monceaux. If there is proof of existence of progeny......
Yes yes, says the Mayor. But it may be a hoax.
It had better be, says Tony Bramley, godfather of cuttlefish. Or we're stuffed.
But, says Brenda, don't you think it's kind of ....
....romantic, says Beverley.
Exactly, says Brenda. Bit like Shakespeare.
But this is not the general view.
..........
Gaius is landing his cuttlie. He struggles and heaves. It is one of the biggest ever to be pulled out of Spencer Gulf, according to Bandy.
A monster, says Bandy.
Too right, says Snook. It won't fit in the tinny.
Yes it will, says Gaius. Move up.
Sweezus and Arthur move up next to Jazzman. The tinny rocks up and down.
Oh man! says Sweezus. What a whopper. I'm gutted I didn't bring an esky.
Put it in Bandy's cool bag, says Jazzman. There's room now we've drunk the Red Bulls.
No way! says Bandy. That's my cool bag!
He hides the cool bag under his legs.
It's a really good cool bag, with RED BULL printed on both sides. You wouldn't want a big cuttlie inside it.
And that's not the only problem.
How do you kill a cuttlie humanely? asks Sweezus. (He would ask that).
Ice water anaesthesia, says Bandy. But we haven't got any ice.
Special tool, says Snook. My mate's got one.
What is it? says Jazzman.
Steel rod with an L shaped hook on the end, says Snook. You stick it in through it's beak and twirl it around. Don't know how it works but it kills 'em.
Probably mashes their brain, says the very large cuttlefish.
You speak! says Gaius.
When I have to, says the very large cuttlefish. I must say, I prefer the iced water.
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