At last the Tour is in France!
Team Crustacean rides out of Le Touquet in high spirits.
Ageless: This is more like it. Moules-frites!
Louis-Claude: I love moules-frites!
Louttit: Three cheers for Professor Freud!
Ageless: I wouldn't go that far. He was re-loading his paintballs this morning.
Louis-Claude: I feel good. So good I think that today I will catch up with Unni.
Louttit: You crazy fool.
Louis-Claude: She reminds me of my late wife Rose. So pretty and clever...
Louttit: She reminds me of my late wife as well. What was her name now.....?
Ageless: Hold it right here, men. Unni is a Tour de France rider. She is masculine for the duration. So no noodling and canoodling and sheep's eyes and that sort of thing.
Louis-Claude: Alors! But she is not truly masculine. However, I should not like her to be rumbled thanks to my indiscretion.
Ageless: Hmmm.
(Ageless is remembering how yesterday Arthur refused him a gel pack. What does Team Crustacean owe to Team GetUp? Nothing! )
They pass their manager, Professor Freud, who has earlier fed them moules-frites.
They wave to Professor Freud, their manager.
Yoo-hoo!
But Professor Freud doesn't see them He is aiming a paintball at Froome.
........
Stage four has gone quickly. The riders are almost in Lille.
Alexander Kristoff puts on a burst of power. Marcel Kittel will need all his legs.
Of course the sprinters have long ago passed the Team Philosophe riders, Gaius, Vello, Schopenhauer and David.
David? David Hume? The team manager? Why is he riding?
Let's try and hear what they're saying.
Vello: Happy now?
David: Yes, I don't know what came over me. I just felt like riding again.
Gaius: What if you get caught?
David: Oh fiddle! They'll only make me do a crash course in Team Management training. Like Freud did.
Vello: Ha ha! Freud doing Team Management training. I bet he gave them curry!
Gaius: No, apparently he thought it was wonderful. He's going to make Team Crustacean do a team workshop this evening.
Schopenhauer: I saw him back there with his paint gun. He was aiming at Froome, just before Froome fell off.
Vello: Then he's learned nothing. You can't teach an old dog new tricks.
David: Yes, you can. Surely it's a matter of reasoning.
Schopenhauer: A matter of superior will power.
David: Reasoning.
Schopenhauer: Will power.
Vello: Now then. You're both using different words to say the same thing.
Schopenhauer: No no, that won't work, Vello. The two are opposites.
Vello: Like pessimism and....what was that other thing?
Schopenhauer: Now you're teasing. But that reminds me, I must catch up to Sweezus.
David: Good luck with that. Here, before you power up, have a snack bar.
Schopenhauer: Thank you David.
He takes the snack bar, and powers off into the distance.
Vello: David, you're a brick.
David: I'll take that as a compliment. If it's an insult, it's still the same thing.
In this friendly fashion, the two philosophers roll into Lille, in time to see Marcel Kittel being interviewed by breathless reporters. Kittel has won his third stage!
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