Stage Seven: Epernay to Nancy - Resolution And Cracks

Epernay. The three team managers are there at the start.

Belle et Bonne: What a long race this is.

David Hume: It's always this long. But when are we having a rest day?

Professor Freud: Ah! I dream of a rest day!

Belle et Bonne: You two both had a rest day, two days ago. And both your teams suffered.

David Hume: I mean a proper rest day.

Belle et Bonne: It's the day after Stage Ten. I'm thinking of having a picnic. Would your teams like to come?

David Hume: Just try and keep us away.

Professor Freud: Should we bring something?

Belle et Bonne: No. I've already been shopping.

David Hume: Excellent! What are we having?

Belle et Bonne: Champagne, pink biscuits and gingerbread, ham and Clovis mustard. I bought them in Reims.

Professor Freud: That will cheer my men up immensely.

Belle et Bonne: Are they down?

Professor Freud: Yes, I can't understand it. I got them to play Who Am I ? a team building game. But Louttit undermined it.

David Hume: Yes you told me. Those games are not helpful. I tried Survival on my team, but they didn't ride any faster.

Belle et Bonne: What's wrong with Louttit?

Professor Freud: He's forgotten the name of his late wife. No doubt a subconscious repression.

Belle et Bonne: For goodness sake. Let me find out what it is. Then you can help him.

She takes out her phone, and taps away for a moment.

Belle et Bonne: Louttit ....Book of Louttit. ...William Robertson Louttit....married to ....Mary Ann!

That's what you call resolution.

.......

The teams race through green helicopter-high forests.

Team Cannondale is being aggressive. Today they want Peter Sagan to win.

Pedal, pedal, pedal, eat, drink, pee, .....so it goes, on the straight roads, round the bends, up the hillsides.

Ageless, Louttit and Louis-Claude are coasting, without motivation.

Sweezus rides past.

What's up guys? asks Sweezus.

We've all got cracks, says Ageless.

Sweezus can't stop himself laughing.

Which doesn't help much.

He rides on still laughing. Lobsters. All got cracks. Hilarious. And Freud is their manager. Ha ha! He can't wait to tell Arthur.

But Arthur is some way behind him, just ahead of Vello, Schopenhauer and Gaius, who are playing Who Am I? Or trying to.

Vello: You know why this isn't working?

Schopenhauer: No, why?

Vello: We haven't done any preparation.

Gaius: What should we have done?

Vello: We should have decided who we were going to be before we started.

Schopenhauer: No, it doesn't work that way. If we know who we are then there's no point in guessing.....

Let us leave Team Philosophe to their complex discussion. No doubt they will figure it out.

Let us go instead to the finish.

Wow! How exciting is the finish! Peter Sagan is winning. No wait! Who's this person? It's Matteo Trentin....and Trentin is winning...or is he?

It's a photo finish! But Trentin has won!

Matteo Trentin, of Omega Pharma Quickstep.

Pipping Sagan, who still retains green.