Vulgarity

Els Quatre Gats.

In walks Ortega y Gasset.

Looks around. Where are the other philosophers?

Yoo hoo! calls David. Over here! You must be Ortega y Gasset.

Ortega y Gasset wonders if it's a trick question.

Not even a question. A trick statement.

He maintains a straight Spanish face.

You old fool, shouts Vello, across the restaurant. I'd recognise that hat anywhere!

Ortega y Gasset is about to crack a thin smile when in walks George Santayana.

Could there be a worse circumstance? George wears an identical hat.

Hi there! says George Santayana (who is Spanish but lives in America)

George! cries David. Come and sit down. Is it really you?

Yes, it's me, you crazy old empiricist, says George Santayana, slapping David on the back and nearly dislodging his pintxos.

Cah! coughs David.

Oh dear, are you okay? says George, all concerned.

Ortega y Gasset plops down in a spare chair.

Snap with the hats, fellows! says Vello. I had a hat once. Remember it David?

David does remember. Why is Vello bringing it up now?

Perhaps to break the awkward tension. Good old Vello.

Yes, says David. A high pointed hat. You tried to get on a bus, but the hat was too tall, and you had blackberries under it......

Oh yes! yelps Vello, in helpless spasms of laughter. And the juice ran down my face and the driver thought I was bleeding....

Ahem, says Ortega y Gasset, still po-faced, and delicately taking his hat off.

Bwah-hah-hah, laughs George Santayana. Come on José. Small things. Remember?

Yes! says David. 'For the person for whom small things do not exist, the great is not great'.

That's great, says Ortega y Gasset.

Everyone laughs. Because it is one of his aphorisms.

And after all, are they not equals?

..........

Belle et Bonne and Marie are walking through Parc Joan Miro, admiring the futuristic sculptures (of some time ago).

Not really looking.

So what did you DO? asks Belle et Bonne. Did you go out?

Yes, I took him to an art exhibition, says Marie. Art After Dark.

Isn't he a bit arty? says Belle et Bonne. His mum's got a craft shop.

Yes, says Marie. He's so funny. We walked into this gallery, and it was dark, and there was this screen and they were showing a film of.......well,  he thought they were stromatolites.

And what were they? asks Belle.

Penises, says Marie. Cartoon penises, waving in unison, big ones and little ones.

Wicked! says Belle et Bonne. What did he say when you told him.

I didn't need to tell him, says Marie. He soon realised.

Hee hee, giggles Belle.

What vulgar things these girls talk about!