Stage Nine: Gérardmer to Mulhouse - Altruism

Stage Nine. The teams ride out of Gérardmer, Pearl of Vosges.

Today there are mountains to climb, and two summit finishes. Who will this be good for?

Vello, Gaius and Schopenhauer are not letting themselves feel the pressure.

I'm looking forward to trying the Mulhousienne beer, says Vello, spinning a pedal.

Don't do that, says Schopenhauer. You're flicking dirt on my trousers.

They are already dirty, says Vello. Stained with yellow. So much for your precious Ass Savers.

Damn, says Schopnhauer. That's the lichen. It's wrapped in my hankie.

Don't tell me you've still got it, says Gaius. I seem to have mislaid all my specimens.

You probably gave them to Arthur, says Vello.

He did, says Schopenhauer. Because Arthur's re-li-able.

Ha ha, laughs Vello. Next time I see Arthur I'll frisk him for lichen.

Schopenhauer chortles at the idea of  frisking young Arthur for lichen.

This isn't edifying. It's not even funny. Let's move on up the road...

...to Team Crustacean. They are doing quite well in this Tour. Considering the difficulties.

They too are looking forward to Mulhouse, which is famous for onions.

Golden onions, says Louis-Claude. Onion soup, onion tarts, onion flans....

Mmmm, says Louttit. My dear Mary Ann often used to fry onions. As soon as I smelled onions frying I'd say That smells delicious. She would say. It's just the onions. But oh! the smell of frying onions, there's something about it......that's the way to the heart of a man.

This sets Ageless thinking about onions. He imagines Kobo, frying onions for his dinner. Difficult without any hands though.

I don't care for onions, says Ageless, demonstrating the extent of his loyalty.

This is sweet, but not edifying either. Let us go forward.

Let us pass Richie Porte. Richie the poet. Where are you going? Toward which corner of the mountain? How can I tell, through all these clouds?

Pshaw! That's not even a good one. It's not that cloudy. The fog was yesterday.

There's Alberto, the steadfast contender. Not talking.

Let's go up to the front. Hey! Its Tony Martin, all on his own. He'll be winning. Funny, he's normally a time trial specialist.

What's he thinking? Today is the day?

Let's go back a bit, to where Arthur is talking to Sweezus, in the crush of the peloton.

Unni's finding it hard, says Sweezus. I  might buy her a present. What would she like?

Arthur has no idea.

A medal, says Arthur. For altruism.

Brill! says Sweezus. You're a legend for thinking of that.

Arthur is tickled.

He moves up to a position slightly in front of Sweezus, to lead him out.