Stage eighteen. The last day in the Pyrenees. The last day for the climbers to shine.
Ageless rides out of Pau, flanked by his henchmen, Louttit and Louis-Claude.
But what is this? A small figure on a tiny bicycle buzzes up out of nowhere and wheee! does a wheelie in front of his daddy.
Curses! says Ageless. It's you again, Baby Pierre. How did you get your tyre fixed?
Yes, how? says Louttit. You, with no team car and no spare parts following.
Et comment? echoes Louis-Claude, his eyes goggling at the shiny green tyres on the bicycle of Baby Pierre.
Baby Pierre is proud of his achievement. He wants to explain it. He rides alongside.
A pebble has friends everywhere! cries Baby Pierre. And it's not cheating. I asked the pebbles of Pla d'Adet for assistance.
What help could they possibly be? mutters Ageless.
Hoo-hoo! They collect O-rings! says Baby Pierre. They worship roundness and holiness.
This smacks of invention, says Louttit. And not very good invention. If they worship O- rings why would they give them to you?
Because I have the Mark of the Claw, says Baby Pierre.
What are they made of, these O-rings? asks Louis-Claude. Are they strong, are they heat resistant?
O yes, says Baby Pierre. They are fluoroelastemer O-rings.
Baby Pierre does another elaborate wheelie, and buzzes off in pursuit of more fame.
..........
Vincenzo Nibali rides steadily up the Col du Tourmelet, intent on proving to be the strongest rider.
Zwoom! A green flash passes under his bicycle.
Team Astana are on the alert. Nothing must spoil the chances of Vincenzo Nibali.
But they needn't worry. Vincenzo stays perfectly focused.
.......
Professor Freud rides up the Col du Tourmelet on his hired motorbike.
He is surprised to see Vello and Schopenhauer sitting on a grass verge.
Given up? says Freud, pulling up in a blast of hot fumes.
No no, says Vello. Just waiting for Gaius to catch up. He's become obsessed with spiders.
You don't say, says Freud. Perhaps I can help him. I'll wait with you.
Got any snacks? asks Schopenhauer. I smell something warm and delicious.
It's gateau à la broche, says Freud. Cake on a spit. A local specialty.
He offers them some. They are nibbling the treat when Sweezus and Arthur ride by.
Sweezus doesn't look happy, says Vello.
Ah, says Freud. It's that game the girls play. It's upset him.
With or without? says Vello. Why, what did they give him?
A 'with', says Freud. Frankly I can't see it makes any difference.
Oh I can, says Schopenhauer. It's all in the hairstyle. We Germans understand it. Look at Marcel Kittel. He never goes anywhere without his hair drier. When he takes off his helmet, he looks like a god.
I see, says Freud slowly. I am an Austrian. It's to do with....
....disappointing hair, says Vello. I always said Sweezus could do with a haircut. ...Oi ! did you see that green flash then?
That was Baby Pierre, says Freud, who seems to know everything. He's got green rubber O-rings for tyres.
A speedy little devil, says Vello. And plucky.
Not registered, says Schopenhauer. And dangerous.
A menace, says Freud.
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