Today will be different. Things could get nasty.
Team Condor is just one example.
Gruelling climbs, says Sweezus. Could be brutal. What do you reckon, Arthur?
All the same to me, says Arthur. Did you see me on the cobbles?
Yeah I did, says Sweezus. You crazy nong.
What we should do, says Pablo, is keep our eyes open.
What we should do, says Arthur, is eliminate Team Sky.
In your dreams, says Sweezus. Mine too. How exactly?
What if, says Arthur, I lead them over a precipice?
They're not that gullible, says Sweezus.
But he can see it in his mind's eye. Team Sky, going over a precipice, breaking bones on the way, while Arthur, naturally, remains undamaged.
Awesome.
Team Philosophe is negotiating with their Team Director.
I might take a back seat today, says David.
No, you won't, says Vello. I want you to ramp up the chaos.
Ramp it up? says David. We haven't caused any chaos.
Well, get onto it, says Vello. You can start by looking determined.
I can do that, says Gaius.
That's your normal face, says David. As for me, I'm not determined.
Very funny. You, Humboldt? says Vello.
Nor am I, says Humboldt.
Then stay behind Gaius, says Vello.
Chris Froome wheels by, with a parcel.
This is for your kid, says Chris Froome. And good luck in the mountains.
What is it? asks Vello.
A bird book, says Froomey. So he can learn the difference between a duck and a parrot.
How kind, says Gaius. Good luck today.
Froomey glides off.
You fool, Gaius, says Vello. If I believed in good luck, I'd be angry.
Saint Roley flies down from up the road somewhere.
Terence has been inundated with presents, says Saint Roley. He wants you to hold them.
Vello stomps off, with the parcel containing the bird book.
Presents!
Terence is in the midst of a crowd.
They are hi-fiving him, and giving him presents.
All of them bird books.
Vello takes the bird books and looks for a motor bike to take him to the finish.
The finish.
Mikel Nieve is coming.
Tom Dumoulin is coming.
Where is Team Sky?
Oh no, Arthur has led them over a precipice. There they lie with wheels spinning and legs in the air, a few minor bones broken.
Arthur scrambles back up the road, where he meets the devil running with his red pitchfork......
No? Is that wrong? It was only Arthur? And here come Geraint Thomas and Chris Froome, cranking the speed up.
Woosh! Geraint Thomas overtakes Mikel Nieve in the last hundred metres.
Tom Dumoulin comes second.
Froomey comes third.
Maybe he deserves it.
He was nice to give Terence a bird book.
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