Rest Day: Carcassonne - Only The Bravest

The Team Philosophe picnic.

Team Condor is invited. So is Froggy Fréron.

Belle has chosen a sunny spot on a grassed slope below Le Cité.

She spreads out a cloth, she opens the hamper.

A rich scent of cassoulet wafts out.

It better not be a BIRD in that stinky old stew pot, says Terence.

It's mainly haricot beans, says Belle, with some pork and a tiny bit of ... duck-like substance.

Terence stomps off down the slope to a tree.

What's a duck-like substance? Probably a parrot. Belle's tricky.

I'll have some, my dear, says Vello. How about you Froggy?

Yes, thank you, says Froggy Fréron.

How's the poetry competition? asks David. Who's winning?

I'm still working on mine, says Sweezus. What's a good name for a cuttlefish?

Twitcher, says Gaius. I suggest it because we once knew a Twitcher. Remember him, Arthur?

Yes, says Arthur. I remember the Twitcher. We took him to Kas to meet his red and orange beloved, and he died there.

Cool, says Sweezus. That's kind of inspiring. What's to drink, Belle?

Champagne, says Belle. Or a lovely red Fitou. Or a Chateau de Donjon Rosé.

Champagne, says Sweezus.

Let's all have it, says Vello. I'll take the top off.

He tries.

In the old days, says David, Napoleon's soldiers used to slice off the tops with their sabres.

So they did, says Vello. Up the side to the lip and whack!. Glass everywhere. You couldn't drink it.

You can buy champagne sabres in the shop where I bought our picnic, says Belle. Fromagerie la Ferme. It's a treasure trove.

Arthur resolves to go there. He heads off straight away.

Belle takes more food from the hamper. Local charcuterie, fromages, bleus et frais. Prawns in garlic. Beef stuffed with cheese and peppers.

Vello pops the cork from the bottle.

Cheers! says David. In victory one deserves it, in defeat one needs it. Napoleon again.

How's your team going? asks Vello, pouring champagne for Fréron.

Not bad, Bardet's in fifth position, Latour's in fourteenth, replies Froggy.

Any....um.......jitters? asks Vello. You know, the rumours....

Not at all, says Froggy Fréron. What rumours?

That the race is.... already decided, says Vello.

Well it is, in one sense, says Froggy Fréron.

A curly one, says David. Is it or isn't it?

Try this Sardine La Paimpolaise, says Belle.

I shall, says David, dipping a finger. Mmm, this is delightful!

Terence returns, very slowly. Are there any red drinks?

Black currant for you, says Belle.

I know who's winning, says Terence.

Do you? says Belle.

Yes, says Terence. I finally sorted the leg hairs from the sea salt. See! Look who's winning.

He carefully opens the lunch box.

Everyone gazes in.

The leg hairs are disposed on a bed of sea salt to spell  W E Z Z E S.

Hey little buddy! says Sweezus. Is that me?

Yes, says Terence. You're the only one who likes me, and doesn't eat birds.

Sweezus is touched, Terence wants him to win something. And believes that he doesn't eat birds.

He will try and win something.

What was the name of that cuttlefish?

Arthur returns from Fromagerie La Ferme with a champagne sabre, in a knife box.

Any more champagne? asks Arthur.

Yes, says Belle. Did you pay for that sabre? They're really expensive.

This one wasn't, says Arthur.

Swoosh! Smash! Arthur slices the top off the bottle. Glass shards scatter everywhere.

Who's for more champers?

Only the bravest will drink it.