Stage 21: Houilles to Paris Champs-Elysées - IT'S OVER!

A flat stage in more ways than one.

The Tour winner is already decided.

But you can still win the stage. At least, so Alex Kristoff is thinking.

Team Condor has given up already.

They are drinking champagne.

Team Philosophe rolls up gently beside them.

Champagne already? says Gaius.

Want some? asks Sweezus, waving the bottle.

Not yet, says Gaius. Perhaps Humboldt?

Ach... why not? says Humboldt. The Tour is practically over. And I must say, I've done rather well.

You have, says David. A remarkable achievement, for someone who hadn't ridden a bike until a month ago.

Hear hear, says Gaius. You are a force of nature. Never mind what Vello says.

Vello refused to see the big picture, says Humboldt.

What's this? asks Pablo?

Humboldt encouraged Arnaud Démare after he'd been bad-mouthed by Greipel, says David. Stage eighteen. And then Démare won it. Vello was peeved.

Pablo laughs. How could it possibly matter? Stage eighteen was so long ago....

Arthur is wobbling all over the road, for some reason.

Steady Arthur, says Gaius. The race isn't over yet.

I know, says Arthur, through a brain haze of champagne bubbles.

I was thinking of asking Humboldt to come with us to Weipa, says Gaius. Do you agree, Arthur?

Arthur doesn't understand how things can have proceeded this far.

You going to Weipa? asks Sweezus. You didn't say.

Uh, says Arthur. That's because I didn't know. Why Weipa?

Are you asking him or me? asks Humboldt.

Arthur doesn't need asking, says Gaius. He's my right hand man.

The right hand man suddenly remembers he has promised to do something with Pablo and Sweezus.

Sorry, says Arthur. Can't go.

So you're asking me, says Humboldt. I must say you've asked in a roundabout fashion.

I haven't asked you, says Gaius. I'm about to ask you. You will be excited when I tell you the reason.

I hope so, says Humboldt, taking a fourth swig of champagne.

He doesn't care what the reason is really. He will go to Weipa with Gaius. Especially if Arthur's not going.

A new snake has been discovered in Weipa, says Gaius. A bandy-bandy. It is different from all other known species of bandy bandy.

Ein neue Schlange! marvels Humboldt.

Schlange? says Gaius.

Snake, says Humboldt. Sorry, I just got excited.

I take it you're coming? says Gaius.

Of course he is, says David. Now let's pull ourselves together and make a good showing. We're almost in Paris.

They are.

Now all that remains is to complete eight laps of the circuit and the Tour will be...

OVER!