Stage 9: Arras to Roubaix - Cats

The day of fifteen cobbled sections.

Think positive.

Vello gives Team Philosophe a pep talk.

Don't hold the handlebars too tight. Sit light in the saddle. David, why are you smirking?

No reason, says David.

Ha ha! laughs Humboldt. No reason. Do you get it?

No, I don't get it, says Vello.

Ask your friend Froggy Fréron, says David. Ask him why reason's flown out of the window.

This is nothing to do with philosophy, says Vello. It's about sowing distrust. It's best you know nothing.

I see you are wearing clown shoes this morning, says Gaius. Is it because of the cobbles?

Don't you start, says Vello.

But they must ignore this instruction, because the race is starting.

No cobbles yet. A fine morning. An early start because of the World Cup Final.

The wind blows gently.

Ten kilometres out from the start, Sweezus rides past an accident.

Shit! Was that Richie?

He can't stop to find out.

Arthur rides past the accident shortly after.

He is riding with his eyes shut, to see if he can.

Later, on the cobbles, he plans to do it. Eyes shut. Thud thud thud sting sting vibration vibration. Trust to luck to stay upright. Test his charmed life.

So Arthur doesn't see Richie.

Richie Porte has broken a collar bone, and riding over cobbles is no longer an option. Richie sits at the side of the road, thinking nine is an unlucky number.

Pablo rides past. Stops beside Richie.

Bad luck, Richie, says Pablo.

Thanks, says Richie. Stage nine again. Looks like nine's my unlucky number.

Pablo feels sorry for Richie. He comes up with a poem.

Do not hate nine forever
For nine is the number of cats
Hate nine only for this moment
Nine will embrace you again
Have a speedy recovery.

That was nice of Pablo, thinks Richie. Poets rock. While I'm recovering I shall work hard on my poem about the potato.

Scent of lemon
Flesh salty
Top note of walnut
Fluffy with butter
And dots of black pepper.

Here we must leave Richie Porte, with his promising poem.

Other positive thinkers are having bad days.

Romain Bardet for example has had three flat tyres in succession.

Crashes affect Michel Landa and Rigoberto Uran.

But Chris Froome, who also crashes, is unaffected.

And some have good days.

Arthur Rimbaud has remained in a vibrating trance with his eyes shut throughout the cobbles and come out unscathed, (although admittedly, not advancing in the general classification).

While John Degenkolb, of Trek-Segafredo, is today's stage winner.