A mountain stage after a rest day. What can go wrong?
The Teams ride out of Carcassonne and boof! into a hay barricade set up on the road by disgruntled farmers.
But no! The gendarmes are on it!
They spray tear gas at the incident. That will surely work, n'est ce pas?
The riders stop, cough, wash their eyes with bottled water, and get back on their bikes.
Did you have your eyes shut? asks Sweezus.
Not just then, says Arthur. His eyes are still streaming.
You should've, says Sweezus. Hey...? Is that the sabre you picked up yesterday?
Yes, says Arthur. I'm going to slice the top off a bidon, next time I get one.
Probably illegal, says Sweezus. Put it away.
Arthur shoves it further into his jersey.
They ride past Vello who is talking to Froggy Fréron.
He is wearing one extra item of clown suit. Baggy trousers.
Your daughter allowed it? asks Froggy.
She no longer has any say in the matter, says Vello. She has made me do everything. Why do I have to look after Terence when she could so easily do it.....
Where is he? asks Froggy.
I don't know, says Vello. Correction, I do. I set him to practise his spelling, in Carcassonne.
Ah yes, says Froggy. I noticed yesterday at the picnic, he got his letters all wrong. How will he get to the finish?
When he can spell everything I ask him, says Vello.
I mean the finish in Bagnères-de-Luchon, says Froggy.
Belle will go back for him, says Vello.
All the riders ask themselves the same question.
Except Gaius. He asks himself a different question.
What to do when the Tour is over? There are so many options. A new Peacock spider has been identified in Western Australia. And what about the white-winged Flufftail? A new breeding site has been found.....
Further ahead, a breakaway is forming.
Team Condor is not in it.
Arthur is approaching the feed zone.
Belle holds out a musette.
Arthur whips out his sabre.
Belle glares at Arthur. She does not have to feed him. It is only the goodness of her heart that allows it.
So Arthur gets nothing. Not even a bidon.
He puts his sabre away.
Fast forward.
No, first, fast backward.
Terence is labouring over his spelling in Carcassonne.
SWEZUS IS WINGING
Saint Roley doesn't think it looks right.
Now fast forward.
Philippe Gilbert looks like he has a good chance of WINGING.
He is in front, descending the Portet d'Aspet.
When SKID! BOING! FLIP! he goes over a wall on a corner and falls down a ravine.
This means that Julian Alaphillipe has a good chance of WINGING.
But no Adam Yates is now WINGING, leading 6.5k from the finish, but CRASH!
He is off, and Alaphillipe is WINGING.
He finishes alone, loved by the French people.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment