Before the start.
Pablo Neruda rocks up.
Sorry, says Pablo. My dog died.
Yeah right, says Sweezus. We were gonna get new outfits. Lucky we didn't.
What would they have been like? asks Pablo.
Frog colours, says Arthur. With ovoid drink flaps.
Perhaps next year, says Pablo. How are you?
Good, says Sweezus. Been to Ecuador with Gaius. Saving the planet.
Excelente, says Pablo. I see Team Philosphe is without Vello.
Yeah, says Sweezus. They've got this new guy Humboldt. A German.
Is Belle here? asks Pablo.
Yeah, somewhere, says Sweezus. Looking for potatoes.
Richie's writing a poem about potatoes, says Arthur. La Bonotte round and squat. That's as far as he's got.
Ha ha, laughs Pablo. I know those potatoes. They are tiny.
Bang!
The race has started.
The Teams stream out of Noirmoutier in the sunshine.
The coast glistens. Boats and birds bob on the water. Helicopters buzz.
Team Sky have new colours.
What else is new. Nothing.
Vello is watching from the sidelines. He hates it.
Not only is he stuck in one place, he must mind Terence.
Wah! cries Terence, fairly often.
What is it this time? asks Vello.
The SAME THING! says Terence. They keep mixing together!
Where is Belle? wonders Vello. How hard can it be to find a few poxy potatoes?
Terence throws the lunch box onto the road.
The main peloton is coming, minding its business.
La la la. Oh no. A tumble.
Richie Porte and Adam Yates are held up behind it, and lose time.
The lunch box! cries Terence. Arthur'll KILL me.
Leave it! says Vello.
With a KNIFE! cries Terence, imagining it happening
Vello waits until everyone has passed, and retrieves the lunch box.
He opens the lunch box.
The Sea Salt is in a jumble, but the leg hairs predict a win by a Fernando Gaviria, of Quickstep Floors.
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