A short one with a grid start in GC order.
This could be decisive.
Chris Froome looks pensive, as well he might.
Bang. Off go the riders.
Terence tugs at Vello's baggy red trousers.
What? says Vello.
Look at my spelling, says Terence.
He opens the lunch box. The leg hairs spell POO.
That is naughty, says Vello.
Why? asks Terence. Sweezus is winning the poetry competition today.
Ha ha! laughs Froggy twirling his gnome hat. It says POEM!
I see, says Vello. POO is only half right. Take out the last O. You are not getting any better at spelling.
The hairs MOVED! says Terence.
But that's not what happened.
I would prefer to know who's going to win today's race, says Vello.
Probably the O, says Terence.
(Who can that be? Clue: The O could be an ending).
The riders ride hard. There are terrible gradients on the mountains, as well as the usual.
Sweezus, Arthur and Pablo are not even trying to win.
Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! That's them breathing. Their legs feel like spaghetti.
Sweezus tries to get in the zone.
There's something niggling him. Oh yeah. The poem.
Spit it out, says Arthur.
How'd you know? asks Sweezus.
Tom Dumoulin flashes past.
Ditto Rafal Majka, and Nairo Quintana.
I can read you like a book, says Arthur. You've got a poem, but you're too chicken to present it.
Go on, says Pablo. We won't laugh. We can hardly breathe anyway.
Sweezus screws up his courage on the Col de Portet.
Froomey is pedalling beside him.
Who cares? Let Froomey hear it.
In Memory Of A Dead Cuttlefish, says Sweezus.
Good title, says Pedro. We didn't do titles. You get extra points.
Sweezus is encouraged. He continues:
Blue-green blood ran through
His three hearts,
All of them broken.
I asked for his name.
O he was the Twitcher
We took him to Kas
Where an orange beloved
Lay glimmering under the sea
Unaware he was coming.
Dead is he.
Tears form in the eyes of Froomey.
He rides on, as he must.
That's incredibly good, says Arthur. Froomey is crying.
Yes, says Pablo. It's obvious you made it up out of little knowledge. And yet you have captured all the strangeness and the pathos.
Sweezus thinks they might be just saying these things. But it's heart-warming to hear them.
He is declared the winner.
Go the leg hairs!
And Nairo Quintana is first to top the Col de Portet.
Make what you will of it. But Nairo ends with which letter?
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