The Knife Job

Come into the kitchen, says Louisa. You can all have a job.

What's my job? asks Terence.

Watching, says Louisa.

No, says Terence. I want a knife job.

Is he allowed a knife? asks Louisa.

What about a peeler? says Gaius.

We're not peeling, says Louisa. Tell you what, Terence, I'll go and find my trumpet. You can practise while we get the veggies ready for roasting.

Where's the turnip? asks Arthur, pulling out his knife.

Here, says Gaius. It may be tricky.

I can do tricky, says Arthur.

The turnip's time as a pencil holder is over.

The turnip knows that.

The turnip finds itself on a chopping board, with Ronnie the pencil, who has been withdrawn.

Goodbye! says Ronnie. Remember our life together.

How to do that? asks the turnip.

Some parts of you will be retained, says Ronnie. I heard Terence asking. I'm not certain what he was thinking.

Who ever is? says the turnip. See you on the other side. I'll be much changed. I may not even know you.

I'll know you, says Ronnie. However my own days are numbered.

Then what? asks the turnip.

No more me, says Ronnie.

What about no more me? says the turnip.

There won't be no more you, says Ronnie. There will be the retained bits.

Even they.... murmurs the turnip. Eventually....

What was he going to say? We don't know because....

Arthur slices him down the middle.

Cuts away the parts that touched Ronnie.

Chops the rest of the turnip into bite sized pieces.

Louisa and Gaius are meanwhile chopping sweet potatoes, potatoes, beetroots, onions, garlic and Brussels sprouts into bite sized pieces.

The pieces now lie in a pan.

Louisa drizzles the pieces with extra virgin olive oil and sprinkles them lightly with sea salt.

And places the pan in her oven.

Forty minutes, says Louisa.

It's hot in the oven.

The vegetables don't notice at first. Then they do!

Furfffffff! Sizzle!

Each vegetable is focused upon its own journey into oblivion.

Not one vegetable (not even the turnip) notices that Ronnie is in there as well.