Gaius waits for one of the lobsters to speak.
Gaius, says one of the lobsters. Get me out of this pickle.
Baudin? says Gaius.
Yes, say both lobsters, at once.
Ignore him, says the lobster who used the word pickle.
You can't both be Baudin, asks Gaius.
He is Dufresne, says Baudin (if it is him). I am Baudin.
I know that, says Gaius. I recognise certain appendages.
We both have the same appendages, says Dufresne ( if it is him).
I know Baudin intimately, says Gaius. We performed in a play together.
Ask him what part he played, says Baudin.
What part did you play? asks Gaius.
I've forgotten, says Dufresne.
I played the Narrator, says Baudin.
Right, says Gaius. Next question. Where is your hat?
It fell off, says Baudin. It's probably in the aisle somewhere.
And the head torch? asks Gaius.
In that drawer, says Dufresne.
Gaius is opening the drawer when a flight attendant comes up behind him.
Please return to your seat, sir.
Not until I have rescued my colleague, says Gaius.
Which one is your colleague? asks the flight attendant.
This one, says Gaius.
I'm sorry sir, but one of these lobsters is accused of sexual harassment, says the flight attendant.
Which one? asks Gaius.
We're not sure, says the flight attendant. They both deny it.
Am I right in thinking that the one who committed the offence was bare-headed? asks Gaius.
So we've been told, says the flight attendant.
And the other one, at the time, was absent? asks Gaius.
Alors! says Dufresne! What is this line of questioning? Do you think you are Cicero?
A worthy role model, says Gaius. But the questions are my own. The hat is the key to the mystery
CABIN CREW, BE SEATED FOR LANDING!
You'll have to go back to your seat now, says the flight attendant. We'll sort this out once we've landed.
Gaius realises that he must go back to his seat.
Fear not, Baudin. I'll sort this out promptly.
On the way back to his seat he spots a child in a red knitted hat.
Stretched more tightly than one might have thought natural.
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