What Becomes

 Bertille comes down into the cellar.

What did you have for dinner? asks Terence.

Cotriade, says Bertille.

Did your mother make it? asks Saint Arnoc.

No, dad bought it, says Bertille. 

What is it? asks Terence.

Fish soup, says Bertille. 

What colour? asks Terence.

Orange, says Bertille.

Huh! says Terence. Guess what? I got nothing.

Too bad, says Bertille. Is that because the saints ran out of red food dye?

No, says Terence. They put it back on the wrong shelf. Then they found it. AFTER DINNER!

When it came in handy, says Gaius. 

He indicates the red-neck-ringed Roo-kai.

For my parrot passport photo, says Roo-kai. What do you think?

You look like someone tried to kill you, says Betrille.

That's what I said, says Terence.

Compare him to his photo, says Gaius.

He shows Bertille the photo.

Great, says Bertille. Now he can't wash.

It doesn't wash off easily, says Saint Arnoc. And we'll give Gaius the bottle, for touch-ups.

Good idea, says Saint Ténénan.

I don't suppose you have a printer? asks Gaius.

Upstairs in the cottage, says Saint Arnoc.

May I use it? asks Gaius. I want to play around with this passport. Photoshopping and whatnot.

I'll help you, says Bertille. 

Can I come? asks Terence.

And me, says Roo-kai. It's my passport.

Sure, says Bertille.

They go up the stone steps.

Mathilde is wondering what to do with the leftover cotriade.

Would anyone like some?

I would, had I not just eaten, says Gaius. Where is the printer?

There, says Mathilde. Next to the computer.

I trust it will do the job, says Gaius.

What's the job? asks Mathilde.

To produce a convincing parrot passport for Roo-kai here, says Gaius.

The oystercatcher? says Mathilde. Why not just go for an oystercatcher passport?

Only pet birds can travel with a passport, says Gaius. Parrots, parakeets, budgerigars and macaws.

Or fake ones, says Terence.

Have you done this before? asks Mathilde.

Many times, says Gaius.

Are you sure about the cotriade? asks Mathilde. Otherwise it's going down the toilet.

Gross! says Bertille.

How To Look Like A Parrot

Can I be in the photo? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius. A passport photo should be of one person, or in this case, one parrot.

Can I take it? asks Terence.

Yes, says Gaius. Here is my phone. You press this circle, when you're ready.

I'm ready, says Terence. Are you ready, Roo-kai?

Roo-kai-Catcher, says the oystercatcher.

A fine name, says Gaius.

Too long, says Terence.

You can call me Roo-kai, says the oystercatcher.

Try and look like a parrot, says Terence.

What if I turn a bit sideways, says Roo-kai.

It must be face on, says Gaius.

Surely not for a parrot, says Saint Arnoc. Or any bird for that matter.

Good point, says Gaius. The beak is an identifying feature, which, face-on, would appear foreshortened.

Isn't that the idea? asks Roo-kai.

Hum, says Gaius. Ideally, both you and your passport photo should look the same. 

Like a parrot, says Terence.

Do you saints have any colourful feathers? asks Gaius.

The saints exchange glances.

No, says Saint Arnoc, but we could make Roo-kai's feathers more colourful.

Saint Ténénan has already gone into the pantry.

He comes out with a little red bottle.

Hey! says Terence. You said you didn't have any!

That was me, says Saint Arnoc. Where was it?

On the wrong shelf, says Saint Ténénan.

Saint Arnoc produces a paint brush.

Hold still, Roo-kai!

He dips the tip of the paintbrush into the red bottle and draws it out carefully.

He paints a feathery red ring round the neck of Roo-kai.

Woo! says Terence. Now you look like someone's tried to kill you!

Do I? asks Roo-kai. 

He is pleased.

Terence presses the circle. Click!

It's a good one. Roo-kai looks like the photo. 

And it looks like him.

 

The Bridge Is Long

 Not on me, says Arthur. Why do you need one?

Terence has obtained a new parrot, says Gaius. And we're still in Brest. Where are you?

At your place, says Arthur. Keeping an eye on things.

Very good, says Gaius. Go through my drawers.

Uh? says Arthur.

For an old parrot passport, says Gaius. 

Okay, says Arthur. He opens some drawers.

Pebbles, feathers, socks, underpants, tinea cream.

No parrot passport.

Try the pantry, says Gaius.

Arthur tries the pantry,

Eventually, in a yellow folder, he finds two parrot passports.

Found them! says Arthur. One for Mouldy, and one for Jinjing.

Excellent! says Gaius. Take photos and send them to me.

Sure, says Arthur. 

He takes the photos, sends them to Gaius, and goes back to bed to recapture his waterspout dream.

Here we are! says Gaius. Two parrot passports to choose from.

Let me see, says the oystercatcher.

At the top of each parrot passport is a photo.

Mouldy appears as a pebble with parrot feathers.

Jinjing looks like a child's toy.

They don't look like me, says the oystercatcher. And they don't look like parrots.

They were GOOD parrots! says Terence. 

What happened to them? asks the oystercatcher.

I don't know, says Terence. 

As I recall, says Gaius, Mouldy was last seen riding a bicycle across a bridge to Hong Kong. It was many years ago.

He must BE there! cries Terence.

Indeed he must, says Gaius. The bridge is long, but not that long.

It seems to me you need a photo of the oystercatcher, says Saint Arnoc. Then you can photoshop it on to one of these passports.

Is that allowed? asks Saint Ténénan?

I don't know, is it? asks Saint Arnoc.

Let me think, says Gaius. Where did we get these passports in the first place....? Ah yes! It's here at the bottom. Signed by Isidore, director at the Jardin des Plantes, Paris. 

Is that helpful? asks Saint Arnoc.

He'll back me up, says Gaius. He's an old friend of mine.

But now the oystercatcher has thought of a problem.

What about the name on the passport? Shouldn't it be mine?

The name can be easily altered, says Saint Arnoc. What is yours?

Catcher, says the oystercatcher. 

That's a bad name, says Terence.

I think it's a cool name, says Catcher.

Not for a parrot, says Terence. 

You think Mouldy's a good name for a parrot? asks Catcher.

No, says Terence. I think Roo-kai is a good name.

Doesn't roo-kai mean Roger? asks Gaius, gently.

Not if you pronounce it that way, says Saint Arnoc. 

A Low Mystic Sun

The oystercatcher has returned with three sea slugs, one being a head, newly severed.

He has placed them on the saucer, and waited.

Gaius has come up the stone steps.

Aha, says Gaius. I see you have brought three replacements.

Yes, says the oystercatcher. Sorry about the first three.

Not at all, says Gaius. I was just saying, we don't really need them. Terence and I will shortly be leaving. 

And? says the oystercatcher.

And so you may as well eat them, says Gaius.

Eat them! says the oystercatcher. I wasn't asking that question.

What then? says Gaius. But of course! What am I thinking? Yes, you, as Terence's parrot, will come with us. That is, if you're willing.

I'm willing, says the oystercatcher. 

Come down to the cellar, says Gaius. There will be things to discuss.

Gaius and the oystercatcher go down to the cellar.

Is all well? asks Saint Ténénan.

All is well, says Gaius. And you have gained three sea slugs. We've left them outside, on your saucer.

He didn't eat them? asks Saint Arnoc.

No, says Gaius. No doubt, he had his own reasons.

Would he like some potato soup? asks Saint Arnoc.

No thanks, says the oystercatcher.

Yay! says Terence. You're coming! You get your own passport.

Which may be a problem, says Gaius. 

My other parrots had one, says Terence.

So they did, says Gaius. A parrot passport. From an obscure printer in Paris. What a bother.

No need to bother, says Saint Arnoc. Do you have a copy of previous parrot passports?

No, says Gaius, but Arthur might. I'll call him.

He calls Arthur, forgetting the time zones.

Arthur? it's Gaius. Do you happen to have a parrot passport?

Arthur had been dreaming of waterspouts, surf and currents, and a low mystic sun.

It is some moments before he comprehends the question.

Or Even Scotland

Guess what! says Terence. The sea slugs are all interacting.

In what way? asks Gaius.

I don't know, says Terence. What IS interacting?

Mixing together, says Saint Arnoc. Like soup ingredients.

Not yours, says Gaius. It's only potato.

And water, says Saint Ténénan.

Good point, says Gaius. And imagine, if one added some butter and black pepper.....

It would not be potato soup, in that case, says Saint Arnoc.

It would be, but not as we know it, says Saint Ténénan.

I had no intention of criticising your soup, says Gaius. I was merely trying to explain interaction.

The sea slugs aren't in the soup, says Terence. They've gone to Japan.

Did the oystercatcher tell you that? asks Gaius.

Yes, says Terence. He's gone to get three replacements.

I can guess what really happened, says Gaius. However, it doesn't matter.

Wasn't he supposed to be guarding them? asks Saint Arnoc.

He was, says Gaius. But we must remember, he's the one who caught them.

Very nice! says Hideo. If I take a few toes, I'm a villain. 

An entirely different situation, says Gaius. 

Maybe they HAVE gone to Japan, says Saint Ténénan. Aren't two of them from there?

No, says Gaius. Only one of them. The other two are locals. Or they may be from the Channel Islands. Or even Scotland. But no further.

Is my parrot in trouble? asks Terence.

Not at all, says Gaius. We must be leaving soon, and we can't take the sea slugs.

But my parrot's gone to get more! cries Terence.

He can eat them, says Gaius.

Replace The Missing

No red soup, says Terence. 

Is that the reason you came outside? asks the oystercatcher.

No, says Terence. Gaius asked me.

To do what? asks the oystercatcher.

Check on something, says Terence. But I can't.

What is it? asks the oystercatcher.

The sea slugs, says Terence. I have to find out if they're interacting.

They are now, says the oystercatcher.

Where? asks Terence. They're not on the saucer.

Just go back and tell him they are, says the oystercatcher.

But where are they? asks Terence.

I can't tell you, says the oystercatcher.

You have to tell me if you want to be my parrot, says Terence.

All right, says the oystercatcher. They went to Japan.

How did they get there? asks Terence.

They won't be there yet, says the oystercatcher. But they're on their way.

Together, says Terence.

Yes, says the oystercatcher. I was just about to go down to the shore and find three replacements.

One would have to be a head, says Terence. 

Easy, says the oystercatcher.

But it has to be the right one, says Terence.

Yes, an atroviridis, says the oystercatcher. I'm not stupid.

Okay, says Terence. I'll go back and tell Gaius.

Just tell him they're interacting, says the oystercatcher. 

Roo-kai! says Terence.

That's ryouki, says the oystercatcher.

You learned it! says Terence. That will be useful if you go to Japan.

I'm not planning to go to Japan, says the oystercatcher.

Or if someone from Japan wants to say something to you, says Terence. Like, hello, are you a parrot?

Unlikely, says the oystercatcher. 

That's the right answer! says Terence. I've got a parrot that can answer Japanese questions. 

Lucky you, says the oystercatcher. Well, I'm off to replace the missing.

Remember, says Terence. One head, two bodies. 

Wrong, says the oystercatcher. Three heads, two bodies.

I meant that, says Terence.

He runs back down the steps to the cellar, to tell Gaius the good parts of what's happened

The Meaning Of Roger

Saint Arnoc places the soup plates on the table.

Saint Ténénan ladles potato soup into each one.

This smells delicious, says Gaius. 

It always does, says Saint Arnoc. 

Are you sure you won't try it, Hideo? asks Saint Ténénan.

I'm an otter, says Hideo.

In the shape of a man, says Saint Arnoc.

That doesn't alter my appetite, says Hideo. I eat fish and crustaceans.

And toes, says Rusty.

Did I eat them? asks Hideo.

To be fair, says Gaius. Hideo didn't eat them.

Thank you, says Hideo.

Shrimps, mussels? asks Saint Arnoc.

Sea slugs! says Terence.

Never, says Hideo. 

Can I have red soup again? asks Terence.

Saint Arnoc goes into the pantry.

Comes out empty-handed. 

No.

Shin jin! says Terence.

Meaning? asks Hideo.

I don't believe it! says Terence.

Chigau, says Hideo. That's not right. It's shinjirarenai.

I said the first bit, says Terence.

Shin, says Hideo, but jin was chigau.

How interesting, says Saint Ténénan. Japanese seems quite easy.

I try to make it easy, says Hideo. But Terence is slow.

I bet you do eat sea slugs, says Terence.

He is easily distracted, says Gaius. Terence, since you're not having the soup, why don't you go back into the garden and check on the slugs. I'd be interested to know if they're interacting.

Okay! says Terence. 

He runs up the stone steps shouting Roo-kai!

It's not roo-kai, says Hideo. It's ryouki.

Ryouki, says Saint Arnoc. I shall try to remember. And what does it mean?

Roger, says Hideo.

Of limited use then, says Gaius.

Roger as in Got it! says Hideo.

Ah, says Gaius. I see. Or should I say, Ryouki!

Terence stops at the tree.

The oystercatcher is standing next to the pebble.

The saucer sits on the pebble.

But the saucer, which earlier held three sea slugs, is empty.

Squishy Lumps Underneath

Come down everyone, soup's ready! calls Saint Arnoc.

Potato soup, no doubt, says Gaius. 

 Yay! says Terence. Come on Rusty.

He dashes off down the stone steps, followed by Rusty.

Coming Hideo? asks Gaius.

I've already told them none for me, says Hideo.

For the sake of being convivial, says Gaius.

All right, says Hideo. What about my pupils?

Leave them here on the saucer, says Gaius. They'll become acquainted.

They might slope off, says Hideo.

I'll watch them, says the oystercatcher. 

Excellent, says Gaius. 

He and Hideo go down the steps to the cellar, where the homely aroma of boiled potatoes fills the air.

The oystercatcher stands next to the saucer, guarding the sea slugs.

The atroviridis turns to the crimoras.

Atroviridis: Why are you here?

First crimora: Training.

Second crimora: Yes, training.

Atroviridis: As in Japanese lessons?

First crimora: No. In regeneration of bodies.

Atroviridis: That's what I'm currently doing. Watch me.

The atroviridis sucks up some water.

First crimora: He's sucking up water.

Second crimera: And getting squishy lumps underneath.

Atroviridis: That's good. I'm supposed to.

Second crimora: Yes but how do you do it?

Atroviridis: Say you're infected with copepods, and you want to get rid of your body. You choke yourself, until your body falls off. Then you start sucking, and grow another one.

Second crimora: Sounds easy.

First crimora: No it doesn't. He didn't explain how to do it.

Atroviridis. True: I don't really know how to do it.

Second crimora: Then we're here for nothing.

Oystercatcher. Look on the bright side. You can take Japanese lessons!

Second crimora: Who from?

Atroviridis: Me. I've picked up a few words. Try saying shinjirarenai.

First crimora: Shinjirarenai!

Atroviridis: Yokatta!

Second crimora: Yokatta!

This is great. They are getting on well.

Akira Men Deedo

Gaius and Rusty go up the cliff steps.

Rusty first.

Gaius next, with his thumb over the hole in the container.

The sea slugs, inside the container, feel themselves rise.

The oystercatcher is already at the top, because he is eager.

They follow the cliff path to the saints' garden, where Hideo is holding his class.

Guess what? says Terence. Akira men deedo!

Very good, says Gaius. What does it mean?

Never give up, says Terence.

Chigau! says Hideo. 

What does that mean? asks Gaius.

Not right, says Hideo. Terence has mispronounced it.

Okay, says Terence. Roo kai.

Ryukai, says Hideo. 

I said that, says Terence.

I see Terence is progressing, says Gaius. What about our sea slug?

It may be deaf, says Hideo. 

I don't think it's deaf, says Bertille. 

Here are two more sea slugs, says Gaius, putting the container on the ground, next to the pebble. Perhaps our sea slug will do better in company.

Shall I get them out? asks Bertille.

If you can, says Gaius. It's one of those impossible lids, I can't imagine how.....ah! you've done it!

You have to flick it up here, says Bertille.

She lifts the two crimoras out of the container and places them next to the atroviridis, on its saucer.

Right, says Hideo. Two more pupils. Chotto matte.

That means wait a moment, says Bertille. 

At least someone has been listening, says Hideo.

I've been listening, says Terence.

Half listening, says Hideo. And the sea slug may as well be a cucumber for all it's retaining.

Ahem, says the oystercatcher. Perhaps I can be of assistance.

Who are you? asks Hideo.

The oystercatcher I was meeting, says Gaius. It wants to meet Terence.

You've met me, says Terence. 

I could help you with your pronunciation, says the oystercatcher. A special tutor.

Help THEM! says Terence. They can't say anything.

Yes, help them, says Hideo. 

But I really came to help Terence, says the oystercatcher. I hear he needs a parrot.

I'm too grown up for a parrot, says Terence.

The oystercatcher looks sad.

It's beak turns down slightly, its head droops.

Bertille whispers something to Rusty.

I might need a parrot, says Rusty. 

Actually, says Terence. I do need a parrot.

Good, says the oystercatcher. What's my first job?

Tell the teacher the lesson is over, says Terence.

You heard him, says the oystercatcher.

Buzz off then, says Hideo. I've got enough on my plate with these unresponsive faux cucumbers.

The unresponsive faux cucumbers look at one another.

What an insult! It's not even a plate. It's a saucer!

Meddling With Nature

Thwoop! Gaius pulls the pierced lid from the oystercatcher's beak.

Sorry about that, says the oystercatcher.

Not at all, says Gaius. It will do as a breathing hole.

Isn't it too big? asks the oystercatcher.

I'll keep my thumb on it, says Gaius.

Then it won't be a breathing hole, says Rusty.

They probably won't need a breathing hole for the time it will take us to return to the cellar, says Gaius.

Then why...? begins Rusty.

If they do, says Gaius, I will move my thumb slightly.

Everyone is satisfied with this. 

Even the sea slugs. We must not forget them.

They are still on the pebble, heads up.

They both have translucent white bodies, numerous yellow and orange tubercules, and short oral tentacles. 

Where did you find these? asks Gaius. 

In a crevice, says the oystercatcher.

They are crimora papillata, if I'm not mistaken, says Gaius. A type of nudibranch. They will probably not suit my purpose.

Think, says the oystercatcher. There are sea slugs that know how to regenerate bodies, and those that do not. Why not train them?

It is not for me to meddle with nature, says Gaius. Merely to observe it.

What if a third party should try? says the oystercatcher.

I cannot condone it, says, Gaius.

O, says the oystercatcher. But I was hoping.....

For scientific renown? asks Gaius. 

To join your party, says the oystercatcher. As a parrot, if need be.

Why didn't you say so? says Gaius. Come up the steps with us. Terence will be in the garden, learning Japanese. 

I will, says the oystercatcher. But what about the sea slugs? I feel responsible.

As do I, says Gaius. Rusty, put them in the container.

Through the breathing hole? asks Rusty.

It's the only way, says Gaius. Do it gently. 

Rusty picks up a crimora papillata and forces it through the hole, followed by the other one.

The crimora papillatas right themselves, and try to think positive.

One Of Those Lids With A Secret

Gaius and Rusty scan the shoreline.

There are one or two oystercatchers, poking about in the sand.

But not the one.... no wait... one is approaching!

Well met! says the oystercatcher. I have something for you.

Excellent, says Gaius. Where is it?

In a safe place, says the oystercatcher. But first...

Yes? says Gaius.

Where is the other boy?

You mean Terence? says Gaius.

He doesn't mean me, says Rusty.

No I don't, says the oystercatcher. The one who wanted a parrot.

Terence always thinks he wants a parrot, says Gaius. But he gets on quite well without one. Don't tell me you've brought us a parrot! 

No, says the oystercatcher. But is the position still vacant?

Um, yes I suppose so, says Gaius. 

Someone is interested, says the oystercatcher. Will you tell him?

Yes. When I see him, says Gaius.

He's learning Japanese, says Rusty.

Who from? asks the oystercatcher.

A bad otter, says Rusty. It sucked off my toes. See? These ones.

They look all right to me, says the oystercatcher.

But they're only stuck on with fish glue, says Rusty. I don't trust them.

Go and paddle, says Gaius. It's a powerful glue. I assure you, nothing will happen

Rusty steps into the shallows and stands, looking down at his toes.

Follow me, says the oystercatcher. 

Yes, come on Rusty, says Gaius. You're to help carry the sea slugs if sea slugs are on offer.

I have sea slugs, says the oystercatcher. Two of them. I've left them high and dry under an overhang.

Rusty steps out of the shallows. Hurrah! He still has his toes.

He and Gaius follow the oystercatcher to the overhang.

Two sea slugs are waiting on a pebble.

Wonderful, says Gaius. Rusty, open the container.

Rusty tries.

But the container has one of those lids that are hard to get off. There is some sort of secret to doing it.

Give it to me, says Gaius.

He tries to lever the lid off using various found objects. A small stick. A razor clam. No luck.

Let me try, says the oystercatcher.

He pierces the lid with his beak.

But finds he cannot withdraw it.

Dear me, says Gaius.

The sea slugs have been lying motionless, enclosed in their mantles. But they can hear what is happening. They must see it. They withdraw their mantles exposing their heads, which bear cylindrical tentacles with eyes at the tips.

It's worth coming out for. The oystercatcher looks funny!

None For Me

The tide's out, says Saint Arnoc.

Good, says Gaius. I'll go down to the shore.

Can I come? asks Rusty.

He's scared of Hideo, says Terence.

I'm not, says Rusty. I just want to see if my toes will stay on in the water.

Of course they will, says Gaius. But yes, you may come. If the oystercatcher has found any more sea slugs, you can help carry them.

Would you like a container? asks Saint Ténénan.

Thank you, says Gaius. I would.

Saint Ténénan hurries down the stone steps to the cellar.

He returns with a round plastic container, with one of those lids you press on.

The lid is pressed on at the moment.

Gaius and Rusty head off to the cliff path, and down the steps to the shore.

Saint Arnoc turns to Hideo.

A few house rules, says Saint Arnoc.

Yes? says Hideo.

No shape shifting while you're down in the cellar, says Saint Arnoc.

Is that a house rule for everyone? asks Hideo.

Well, yes, says Saint Arnoc.

Except we can't do it, says Terence.

No we can't, says Bertille. But the sea slug can, sort of. 

Ha ha! says Hideo. Fear not, people. I'll teach him outside.

Good plan, says Saint Arnoc. You may sit under this tree, on this rock. And your pupil can sit at your feet.

A fine scenario, says Hideo. Would anyone else like to be a pupil, and learn Japanese? 

Me! says Terence. 

And me! says Bertille.

Very good, says Saint Arnoc. Saint Ténénan and I will go downstairs and peel the potatoes.

None for me! says Hideo.

Their soup's not that bad, says Bertille.

I usually have red soup, says Terence.

Hideo rolls his eyes in a otter-like manner.

Sit down!

He places the sea slug's head (still on the saucer) on the grass at his feet.

Terence and Bertille sit either side of the saucer, and wait for their lesson.

The sea slug waits too.

Rather than learn Japanese, it would prefer a Personal Growth class.

But you don't always get what you want.

The Bad Teacher

The car pulls up outside the stone cottage.

Saint Arnoc and Saint Ténénan are in the front garden.

How did it go? asks Saint Arnoc. 

Not entirely successful, says Gaius, getting out, and showing Saint Arnoc the saucer.

It seems to have taken a step backwards, says Saint Arnoc.

Not voluntarily, says Gaius.

A little kid bit its body off, says Terence.

What a calamity! says Saint Ténénan.

And an otter bit my toes off, says Rusty.

And this is the otter that did it, says Terence. His name's Hideo.

But Hideo has now resumed human form.

Very funny, says Saint Arnoc. I could almost see him as an otter.

A shape shifter, says Gaius. Not a very good one. He retains some of his otter-like features

And did you show the sea slug to an Oceanopolis official? asks Saint Ténénan.

I did, says Gaius. It turns out it's an atroviridis.

Ah, the Japanese one, says Saint Ténénan.

Indeed, says Gaius. They agreed we should keep it.

And teach it Japanese, says Bertille. The otter's going to do it.

Clever otter, says Saint Arnoc. Where did it learn Japanese?

I'm from Japan originally, says Hideo.

Interesting that you should turn up in Oceanopolis, says Saint Arnoc.

They have a better otter trail, says Hideo. 

May he stay with us in the cellar? asks Gaius. It won't be for long.

Of course, says Saint Arnoc. Does he like potatoes?

Iyada! says Hideo.

What does that mean? asks Terence.

No way! says Rusty.

How do you know? asks Terence.

The way he said it, says Rusty.

Does it? asks Terence.

Iyada, says Hideo.

It means yes, says Terence.

How do you know? asks Rusty.

The way he said it, says Terence.

It can't mean both, says Gaius.

It doesn't, says Hideo. Rusty is right. It means no way. It was an instinctive reaction. But as I'm to be a guest in this cellar I decided to retract it, out of politeness. 

What does that mean? asks Terence.

It means he will be a bad teacher, says Gaius. 

To Dance In Chinese

Gaius and Hideo catch up with the others, in the car park.

What's HE doing here? asks Rusty.

It is only now that Gaius remembers what happened to Rusty's gold toes.

He is coming with us to be of assistance, says Gaius. Don't worry. I shall sit in between you.

Will there be room? asks Mathilde.

There are not enough seat belts, says Jean-Claude.

I do not need a seat belt, says Hideo. I am thin.

That doesn't mean to say you don't need a seat belt, says Jean-Claude.

The dark coat of Hideo collapses. He now more resembles an otter.

It does, says Hideo. Fold my coat, will you.

They all pile into the car.

You're on the run, says Terence, who is sitting next to Hideo ( now an otter). The police will be after you.

No they won't, says Hideo.

It's quite likely they will, says Gaius. But we shall return you.

No need, says Hideo.

Why have we got you? asks Bertille. 

He speaks Japanese, says Gaius. 

Speak some, says Bertille.

Ni yao bu yao gen wo tiaowu? says Hideo.

That is Chinese, if I'm not mistaken, says Mathilde. 

What does it mean then? asks Hideo.

Would you like to dance with me? says Mathilde.

You surprise me, Mathilde, says Jean-Claude.

Yes, but if it's Chinese, says Gaius, Hideo will be less helpful.

Sumimasen, says Hideo. 

Is that Japanese? asks Gaius.

I believe so, says Hideo.

Neck Tingles

Terence! says Bertille. Don't show it that!

Why not? asks Terence.

It's a horrible reminder, says Bertille.

It's a good reminder, says Terence.

The stiff sausage body of the sea slug moves gently in the saucer of water.

The head of the sea slug turns towards it.

See, says Terence. Now it knows what to do.

It knows anyway, says Bertille. And that THING isn't helping.

Ask it, says Rusty.

Terence leans over the saucer.

Do you like your instructions? asks Terence.

The head of the sea slug ignores him.

It's not even answering, says Bertille. 

It's looking, says Terence.

Come, says Gaius. Time to go. The tide will be turning.

Yes, says Jean-Claude. Time to go home.

They head for the exit.

Gaius is carrying the saucer. 

He considers throwing the sea slug's old body away.

He passes a bin. Yes, why not do it?

He stops at the bin.

A dark-coated stranger is lurking nearby, under an awning.

The dark-coated stranger approaches.

Hideo! says Gaius. 

How did you know it was me? asks Hideo.

Your otter-like features, says Gaius. 

But I look like a human! says Hideo.

Indeed you do, says Gaius. And if I hadn't met you already, I would be fooled. Why are you out of the otter pool?

I heard about the sad accident, says Hideo. The beheading.

And? says Gaius.

And, I heard that the sea slug was identified as Japanese, says Hideo.

Aha! says Gaius. And you thought you might be of assistance.

I may, says Hideo. After all Japan is where I'm from.

It doesn't speak Japanese, says Gaius. 

It thinks it doesn't, says Hideo.

What is the difference? asks Gaius.

A world of difference, says Hideo. Take me home with you, and you'll see.

I'm not going home yet, says Gaius. I'm staying with saints Arnoc and Ténénan, in their cellar. 

Ooh lovely! says Hideo. Well then?

All right, says Gaius. If you can get the slug's head talking, we will gain insights beyond imagining. You may join us, if the saints both agree. 

Allons-y, says Hideo.

Isn't that French? says Gaius. 

I have lived here a long time, says Hideo. By the way, why did you stop at the bin?

To drop the body in, says Gaius.

He drops the body in.

It's done.

On the saucer, the head of the sea slug sucks up more algae-rich water.

Its neck tingles.

Snips Of Description

The sea slug sucks up some water.

The water has nowhere to go.

Slowly the sea slug remembers what happened.

A grasp, a hot squeeze, two rows of white baby teeth, top and bottom, darkness, then snap!

Or was it snap and then darkness?

No, no, no!

Bertille's face is close now.

Was it her? No it wasn't. I know her. What is she saying?

Bertille is saying:

Sea slug dear, don't drink so fast, you have lost your new body and must start again, don't despair.

The sea slug head twists and turns.

It's true the beautiful new body is missing. The body he worked so hard on. Using snips of description. 

But you are young, says Bertille, and you have lots of energy. 

It is kind of her to say so. Lots of energy.

He sucks up some more.

It's trying! says Bertille.

Excellent, says Gaius. Perhaps the Head of Slugs would like to take it back to his office.

It seems to have taken to you and your party, says the Head of Slugs.

True, says Gaius. And Terence would miss it.

And me, says Bertille.

Then we shall keep it, says Gaius. 

A good decision, says the Head of Slugs. Keep me posted regarding developments.

Certainly, says Gaius.

Now Jean-Claude arrives, with Terence and Rusty.

Is it still alive? cries Terence.

Yes, says Bertille. Look, it's drinking water. It's trying.

Terence stares at the head of the sea slug. 

Hey! says Terence. 

The head of the sea slug turns towards Terence.

I've got something for you, says Terence.

He reaches into his shorts pocket and pulls out the sea slug head's body.

A sad thing it looks now.

The delicate frills of the lateral parapodia have closed around it like a sausage.

Since The Chloe Incident

In the Brittany pavilion, Mathilde and Bertille are watching grey seals in the seal tank.

Mathilde is reading the information.

This is nice, says Mathilde. These are seals that were stranded.

How can seals be stranded? asks Bertille.

It doesn't say, says Mathilde. But most of them are from Britain. They are treated here, and, after a few weeks, released.

I wonder if they know that will happen? asks Bertille. 

Hard to tell, says Mathilde. 

That one is grinning, says Bertille.

They all are, says Mathilde. 

Gaius arrives with a saucer.

I see you have found the earless seals, says Gaius. 

We were discussing their future, says Mathilde. 

They get released, says Bertille. But they probably don't know it.  

Then they are doubly happy, says Gaius. As this sea slug may be.

What? says Bertille. Is that our sea slug? Just it's head? What happened?

A toddler bit off its head in  the tropical pavilion, says Gaius. 

Merde! says Mathilde. I bet the mother was beside herself.

She took it rather well, says Gaius. She accepted a five euro voucher.

Was it a girl or a boy? asks Bertille.

A girl, says Gaius. She thought it was a jelly. 

Then she must have spat it out, says Bertille. What happened to the body?

We left it behind, says Gaius. The body is irrelevant. Luckily the head is intact.

Let me look at it, says Bertille. Why doesn't it have any water?

The Head of Slugs is obtaining some suitable water as we speak, says Gaius.

It's trying to find food, says Bertille. Its mouth is opening and closing.

It's gasping, says Gaius. By the  way, we have learned it's an atroviridis, one of the only two species known to regenerate their bodies.

Is that the Japanese one? asks Bertille.

Mathilde looks proud of her daughter.

It is indeed, says Gaius. We are hoping it will regenerate twice. If it is young enough, it might.

What if it's too old? asks Bertille.

Then it's less likely, says Gaius. We shall have to accept it.

The Head of Slugs arrives with a cup full of sea water. He slops some into the saucer.

The sea slug head, which has, since the Chloe incident, lost track of its progress, at first does not realise that anything is missing. 

The Succulent Gherkin

Before anyone can stop her, Chloe bites off the head of the sea slug.

Yuck. It tastes nasty.

She spits it out, and starts to cry.

Chloe! cries her mother. It wasn't a jelly! It was a sea slug! Drink some water, sweetheart.

She hands Chloe a water bottle, Chloe drinks water. 

The young mother turns to the Head of Slugs.

Why was it on an uncovered saucer?

A thousand apologies madam, says the Head of Slugs. I came out in a hurry.

Gaius is picking something up off the floor.

The head of the sea slug.

I wonder, says Gaius, if it would regenerate a second time.

Interesting question, says the Head of Slugs. Is it moving?

It is, says Gaius. We should put it into some algae-rich water.

Plenty of that at Oceanopolis, says the Head of Slugs. But these are tropical waters. We'll go at once to the Brittany pavilion and find some suitable sea water there.

Will my daughter be all right? asks the young mother.

I'm sure she will, says the Head of Slugs. Here is a five euro voucher. Buy her a sucette from our café. And do visit again.

He and Gaius have just left the tropical pavilion when Jean-Claude arrives at the coral with Terence and Rusty.

Coral! says Terence. Bor-ING!

This is where we said we'd meet Gaius, says Jean-Claude. But he appears to have left.

So we don't have to look at boring coral, says Terence.

Let's GO, says Rusty. 

He turns.

Wait, says Jean-Claude. Look at the fish!

Rusty turns again.

Your toe's loose, says Terence.

Rusty looks down.

Only joking, says Terence.

But now they are all looking down at the floor.

Something like a succulent gherkin is lying there.

A translucent gherkin, with several dark red spots, familiar somehow......

That's his BODY! cries Terence. Where's his HEAD?

Has the young mother left yet, with Chloe?

She has. So she cannot explain what has happened.

Pick it up, says Rusty.

Okay, says Terence.

Leave it, says Jean-Claude. It's only the head that regenerates.

Terence picks it up anyway, and drops it into his pocket.

The body lies there, reduced to a gherkin, sandwiched between faded geckoes.

Watching Gobies Go By

Of course these sharks are not going anywhere.

They swim this way and that.

Turning often, because of the reinforced glass.

They have long ago stopped looking through it.

If they did, they would see Gaius and Terence, friends of Sweezus and Arthur, who are felons, in the shark world.

Felons who owe money to the Great White Teacher.

For the seaweed delivery.

And the sushi venture, which failed.

I'm off to look at the coral, says Gaius. Coming?

Not yet, says Terence. I'm watching the sharks.

Me too, says Rusty.

I'll stay here with them, says Jean-Claude. We'll find you in ten minutes, at the coral.

Gaius heads to the coral.

Will there be information on Australia's Great Barrier Reef?

There is. It is endangered. The coral is dying. The small fish who help to keep it healthy are harder to find.

But there are healthy and colourful corals in the aquarium. And little gobies are flitting back and forth, keeping it so.

Perhaps I should return to Australia, says Gaius. Go to Queensland. I wonder what the quarantine situation is now?

He is fiddling with his smart phone trying to find out, when the Head of Slugs appears beside him.

You were right, it's an atroviridis! All the way from Japan!

He has the Japanese atroviridis on a saucer.

The question is, how did it get here?

I have no idea! says Gaius. But it was found on the beach below the Phare du Portzic, by an oystercatcher.

Interesting, says the Head of Slugs. Do you know which one?

No, says Gaius, but I'm meeting it later today when the tide's out. It promised me others.

Where do you get those jellies? asks a young mother, who is showing her daughter the coral.

It's not a jelly, says the Head of Slugs. It's a very special sea slug.

Oh ha ha! laughs the young mother. I thought it was a too good to be true. You should get a confectioner onto it. You could sell them. Look Chloe!

Chloe is only three. She has been looking at coral, and cute tiny fish. 

Now she looks at the sea slug and thinks it's a jelly. She likes jelly.

She grabs it, with her hard little fingers.

Where Sharks Are Going

The ten minutes is up.

Rusty is testing his toes.

Gingerly walking. Tick.

Walking faster. Tick.

Hopping. Tick, tick.

You're fixed! cries Terence. Let's go into the tropical pavilion.

Okay, says Rusty.

I'll go with you, says Gaius. I should like to know what they say about one coral reef in particular.

Bertille and I will go ahead to the Brittany pavilion, says Mathilde. Tell Jean-Claude if you see him.

Certainly, says Gaius. 

He enters the tropical pavilion, with Terence and Rusty.

People are gazing at colourful tropical fish, in aquariums.

Or reading information.

Tropical waters are warming, and driving tropical fish to non-tropical latitudes.

Very good, says Gaius.

What? asks Terence.

Tropical fish are re-locating, says Gaius.

Yes, that's good, says Terence.

What's re-locating? asks Rusty.

Moving, says Gaius. To different locations. 

Like me, says Rusty.

And me, says Terence. I used to live in a palace. On the outside, with the parrots.

I lived on Napoleon's barge, says Rusty. On a sea horse.

The sea horse was a recent addition, says Gaius. As were you, Rusty. The original barge had less features. And as to.....

Rusty isn't listening. He has spotted Jean-Claude.

He tries to attract Jean-Claude's attention.

Jean-Claude is in front of the shark tank, looking at sharks.

Alors! says Jean-Claude. I would not like to meet one when swimming.

Moi aussi, says another dad, near him. They can bite off your arm or your leg in an instant.

Bonjour Rusty! says Jean-Claude. Look at these sharks!

Look at my feet! says Rusty. My toes are back on now.

Tres bien! says Jean-Claude. 

What happened to his toes? asks the other dad.

Otters, says Jean-Claude.

Who would have thought it? says the other dad, rolling his eyes.

Gaius and Terence arrive at the shark tank.

Woo! Sharks! says Terence. Where are they going?

It's a good question.

Sit Like A Buddha

Is there any more fish glue? asks Rusty.

Plenty, says Gaius. And I'll glue your toe halves back together as soon as I've cleaned the salad oil from my fingers.

Here is a tissue, says Mathilde.

Thank you, says Gaius.

But perhaps I should do it, says Mathilde. My hands are clean.

Yes, do it, says Rusty. I want to go into the tropical pavilion.

Hold your feet out, says Mathilde.

Gaius hands her the glue.

Not yet, says Mathilde. I need to proceed methodically.

Excellent, says Gaius. If only I'd done the same.

Have you finished the salad? asks Mathilde. 

I have, says Gaius. It was very nice too. A slight fishy taste, which I am quite used to.

Then hand me the container, says Mathilde.

He does. The toe parts are already in it. She takes them out. Dries them off with a tissue.

She wipes the container, and squeezes glue into it.

Dips the unbroken toe in.

And presses it to Rusty's left foot.

What if it's the wrong toe? cries Rusty.

Everyone looks alarmed.

You're a cherub, says Gaius. All your toes are the same.

Are mine? asks Terence.

Originally, yes, says Gaius. But you've had a few accidents.

Terence is silent, remembering his accidents.

Now, Rusty, says Mathilde. Press that toe with your finger, and keep the pressure on for ten minutes.

Rusty presses his toe.

Now for the other one.

Mathilde picks up the two halves, and glues them together.

Give me your other foot, says Mathilde.

She presses the mended toe on.

Hold that one too, says Mathilde.

Rusty tries. He has to sit like a Buddha. 

Jean-Claude and Bertille come out of the tropical pavilion.

The coral reefs are dying, says Bertille.

Surely not, says Gaius. Not the ones in there.

No, says Bertille. All the real ones. And the goby fish are disappearing.

Boo-hoo, says Terence. But look at Rusty's toes.

Bertille looks. 

Rusty has both his toes back, thanks to a great deal of effort on everyone's part.

Fishy Ways

Terence and Rusty are waiting outside the tropical pavilion.

Ah! There you are, says Gaius. Where are the others?

Gone inside, says Terence. Mathilde left you some lunch.

Very kind, says Gaius. I do feel peckish. What is it?

Salad, says Terence. And this is a squeeze pack.

Gaius inspects the salad for tomatoes.

Wonderful! There are none. The squeeze pack contains some sort of oily dressing.

My toes? says Rusty.

Yes, I have them, says Gaius. You should have seen what happened. Hideo dropped them into the water.

Where from? asks Rusty. His mouth or his bottom? 

Mouth, you'll be pleased to hear, says Gaius. But the otters then began tossing the toes in the air. Luckily I caught the toes in the sea slug's container.

Did they kill it? asks Terence.

No, says Gaius. But one of the toes split in two.

Which one? yelps Rusty.

Does it matter? asks Gaius. It was this one.

He shows Rusty the mended toe. Rusty tries to take it.

Both toes are stuck to my fingers at the moment, says Gaius. I blame myself. Very careless.

It's okay, says Terence. He'll get them off.

All I need is some WD40 or some nail polish remover, says Gaius. I wonder if Mathilde...?

I'll go in and ask her, says Terence. You guys wait here!

Terence runs into the the tropical pavilion.

Several mothers observe him run by.

An enfant, seul, courant. Is he perdu?

But non, the mothers are relieved to see the enfant stop in front of Mathilde.

Mathilde smiles and follows the enfant out of the tropical pavilion.

Ca va bien.

Gaius and Rusty are waiting. Gaius is eating the salad, with his good hand.

He has been unable to open the dressing.

I don't have any WD40 or nail polish remover, says Mathilde. But oil and vinegar may well do the trick. It's good you have not used the dressing.

She squeezes open the pack.

I'll just drizzle it over your fingers, says Mathilde.

Gaius holds his fingers over the remains of the salad.

No point wasting it, says Gaius.

Yuck! says Terence. You're going to eat salad mixed with toes and fish glue.

Are you sure? asks Mathilde.

Yes. I doubt it will work, says Gaius. This Roman fish glue is almost as strong as Roman bull glue.

We'll see, says Mathilde. 

She drizzles it on.

Rusty watches his gold toes slide away from Gaius's finger.

And fall into the salad. 

One whole one. One in two parts.

Gaius picks up a lettuce leaf. Sniffs it.

It smells fishy.

You Can't Beat Fish Glue

 I did not expect that, says Gaius.

Nor did I, says the Head of Slugs. Have you ever played baseball?

No, says Gaius. Since when did baseball involve catching toes in a plastic container with a sea slug inside?

Now that you mention it, says the Head of Slugs, it never did. But you are good at catching.

I was pleased with that catch, says Gaius, but not with what just happened.

Was the sea slug damaged? asks the Head of Slugs.

Not at all, says Gaius, but one of Rusty's toes has split down the middle.

Glue will fix it, says the Head of Slugs. I may have some.

I always carry Roman fish glue, says Gaius. You can't beat it.

Come to my office, says the Head of Slugs. I shall examine your sea slug while you mend the toe.

They proceed to the office.

Gaius places the container on the Head of Slug's desk.

He fishes out the whole toe and two half toes.

Here, says the Head of Slugs. Use a towel.

Gaius dries the gold toes thoroughly.

He rummages in his back pack for the fish glue.

The Head of Slugs pulls out his sea slug book.

Aha, says the Head of Slugs. Just as I thought. A chlorotica.

Are you sure? asks Gaius, squeezing fish glue onto his finger.

Would you like a small piece of cardboard? asks the Head of Slugs.

No need, says Gaius.

He picks up the two halves of toe, dabs both halves with fish glue, and jams them together.

The thing is, says the Head of Slugs, the chlorotica is not thought to be able to regenerate a body.

Let me see, says Gaius. 

He flicks though the slug book.

Ah! Perhaps it's an atroviridis. See how they look similar?

Indeed, says the Head of Slugs. Leave it with me. I'll do further tests to determine its species.

Thank you, says Gaius. I'll get back to Rusty and restore him to his former condition.

It's been a pleasure to meet you, says the Head of Slugs. I'll be in touch.

Likewise, says Gaius, rising.

Got the toes? asks the Head of Slugs.

Yes, he has, They are stuck to his fingers.

And the slug book will never be opened at Species of Elysia again.

One Tragic Thing

Gaius and the Head of Slugs stop by the otter pool.

The Head of Slugs makes a sign to Hideo.

Hideo slithers out of the pool, and stands before them.

I hear you promised the cherub fur shoes, says the Head of Slugs.

No, I didn't, says Hideo.

Then why would he say that you did? asks the Head of Slugs.

Wishful thinking, says Hideo.

May I see your teeth? asks the Head of Slugs.

Any time, says Hideo. 

He flashes his teeth. 

Open! says the Head of Slugs.

Hideo opens.

There! Two golden toes, large as life!

Those toes belong to our colleague, says Gaius. I'll thank you to return them. 

O will you? says Hideo. And what do I get?

You get off scot free, says the Head of Slugs. Spit them out. We'll say no more about it.

Spittt! Hideo spits the toes out. Into the pool though.

The Head of Slugs shakes his head.

How shall we retrieve them? I don't have time to get the scoop out. I'm due back at the office.

Several of the otters have now spotted the toes, gleaming.

They dive playfully for them.

They toss the toes in the air.

Plip! Plop! The toes drop back into the pool.

This is ridiculous, says Gaius. Can't you control your otters?

I'm Head of Slugs, not otters, says the Head of Slugs crossly.

The toes are tossed up again.

This time Gaius is ready. He whips the lid off the container containing his sea slug, and thrusts it out over the water.

Ding! Splurch!

He catches both gold toes in the container. 

A fine outcome, but for one tragic thing.

Lost Under A Tree

I didn't think penguins had houses, says Rusty.

They don't, says Bertille. It's a penguin joke. And Terence didn't tell it properly.

Yes I did, says Terence. Gaius explained it. 

What did he say? asks Bertille.

They use igloo, says Terence. And igloos are houses.

It's still not funny, says Rusty.

You're just sad because your toes are missing, says Terence. But I lost a finger. And now look. 

He wiggles his claw.

So you never found the finger? says Rusty.

Yes, says Terence. But I swapped it for my friend's claw, and he got the finger. 

So you're blood brothers, says Rusty.

Yes, says Terence. If you get your toes back, and give one to me, we'll be blood brothers.

What will I get? asks Rusty.

Joy! says Terence.

Shall we have lunch now? says Mathilde. I've brought a picnic.

Yes, says Jean-Claude. But not in front of the penguins. 

They leave the penguin pool and find a seat close to the tropical pavilion.

Mathilde hands out the salad baguettes.

Terence and Rusty aren't eating.

They are thinking about what might happen.

What if Gaius comes back with your toes? says Terence.

I'll be happy, says Rusty.

Not yet, says Terence. 

Why not? asks Rusty.

Because you haven't decided, says Terence.

Decided what? asks Rusty.

If you want them back, says Terence. Gaius uses fish glue. 

What's wrong with that? asks Rusty.

Nothing, says Terence. And what if they're covered in vomit? Or poo?

Gaius will wash them, says Rusty.

So you HAVE decided, says Terence. We won't be blood brothers.

No, we won't, says Rusty. Fingers are less important than toes.

The otter's probably lost them, says Terence. They might have rolled under a tree.

This is one too many possibilities for Rusty.

He starts weeping, picturing his toes, lost by the otter, under a tree.

It Happened Once In Scotland

Gaius has explained the igloo joke to Terence, who now understands it.

Terence thinks he will test it on Rusty.

Where is he?

Here he comes now with Mathilde, Bertille's mother.

Mathilde is holding his hand. He's walking funny.

Here we are at last, says Mathilde. Have we missed much?

Some good jokes, says Gaius. Terence will tell you.

Let us sit on a bench, says Mathilde. Rusty has trouble standing. 

I might need special shoes, says Rusty.

Maybe you could get your toes back from the otter, says Bertille.

Unlikely, says the Head of Slugs. He'll have swallowed them by now.

Then he'll vomit, says Terence.

Or he won't vomit, says Gaius. Just because that happened once, with a gold coin, and a different otter, in Scotland, doesn't mean this otter will vomit.

What are you suggesting? asks the Head of Slugs.

That this otter, Hideo, may have spat them out and be toying with them at this moment, says Gaius. 

Or, if he has swallowed them, says Jean-Claude, and he doesn't vomit, he must defecate eventually. And then, le voilà!

Yuck, dad! says Bertille. That's disgusting.

But we must admit all possibilities, says Gaius. 

All right, says the Head of Slugs. My break is nearly over, and I must return to my office. I shall go via the otter pool. 

I'll come with you, says Gaius. This sea slug is growing heavier by the moment.

Gaius and the Head of Slugs head for the otter pool.

Terence sits beside Rusty, and asks him what penguins build their houses with.

I don't know, says Rusty.

Igloo, says Terence. 

It's a poor version of the original riddle, and Rusty is puzzled.

Not Julius Freezer

Terence is the first to see penguins. 

They are big ones, with orange cheek patches.

Bertille reads the sign: Manchots royaux.

That means they're king penguins, says Bertille. Hey! What's wrong with you?

Nothing, says Terence. But these penguins don't look very jokey.

Talk to them, says Bertille. You never know.

Terence edges closer to one of the penguins.

Hello.

Haurrr! says the penguin royal.

My best friend is a penguin, says Terence.

Haurrr! says the penguin royal.

He's not a real penguin, says Terence.

The penguin royal turns away.

Haurrr! This kid's best friend is not a real penguin.

Wait! says Terence. He LOOKS like a penguin. And he knows penguin jokes. That's why I love him.

The penguin royal turns again. Penguin jokes. He knows a few.

Ice caps, says Terence.

What do we wear on our heads? says the penguin royal. 

Terence is captivated. The penguin royal knows the question!

Magnifique! An emperor penguin, says Jean-Claude, coming up behind Terence. 

No, says Gaius, coming up behind Jean-Claude. A king penguin.

Read the sign, dad, says Bertille. It's a penguin royal.

What are Emperor penguins called? asks the penguin royal.

What? asks Terence.

Julius Freezer, says the penguin royal.

Ha-ha-ha! laughs Gaius, doubling over with mirth at the classical reference.

The Head of Slugs looms up behind all of them.

No good jokes here, I bet, says the Head of Slugs.

He says he's called Julius Freezer! says Jean-Claude.

Not HIM! says Gaius. The Emperor penguin is called Julius Freezer.

These are not Emperor penguins, says the Head of Slugs.

We've established that, says Gaius. But the joke was quite funny.

I have a better one, says the penguin royal.

Spare us, says the Head of Slugs. Go back to your pool and practise your speed launching.

No, tell us! cries Terence.

How does a penguin build its house? asks the penguin royal.

How? asks Terence.

Igloos it together, says the penguin royal.

What with? asks Terence.

That was it, says the penguin royal. 

It turns to go back to the pool.

Terence looks confused.

Let me explain it, says Gaius.

Fur Shoes

The Head of Slugs walks back to the rock where Rusty is sitting.

Rusty is swinging his feet.

The Head of Slugs notices that Rusty's big toes are both missing.

Should he say something?

No. Too late now. 

And Rusty seems untroubled.

Come on, says Terence. Let's go!

Where to? asks Bertille. The Tropical Pavilion?

Not yet, says Terence. Back where we came from. I missed out on seeing the penguins.

We all did, says Mathilde. Have we time to return to the Polar Pavilion and visit the penguins?

Bien sur, says Jean-Claude. We have all day.

Gaius turns to the Head of Slugs, who must surely be busy.

Shall we join them? asks Gaius. Or shall we repair to your office?

I'm on a break at the moment, says the Head of Slugs. And I too enjoy penguins.

Come on Rusty! says Terence.

Rusty gets down. He seems unsteady

You're losing your balance, says Bertille.

Rusty looks down at his toes. 

Where are your big toes? asks Bertille.

I don't need them, says Rusty. I'm getting some fur shoes.

Not from Hideo, says the Head of Slugs. Did he promise you fur shoes?

Yes, says Rusty.

Hmm, says the Head of Slugs. I'll deal with him later.

Rusty looks sad. No fur shoes, no big toes, and his ice cream is finished.

Come ON! says Terence. Penguins have jokes. You'll be happy!

Don't expect decent jokes from our penguins, says the Head of Slugs. 

But Terence has raced away from the otter pool, towards the Polar Pavilion.

Otters have better jokes, says the Head of Slugs.

Now that does surprise me, says Gaius.

Where do otters come from? asks the Head of Slugs.

A serious question? asks Gaius.

Otter space, says the Head of Slugs.

Gaius realises it was a riddle.

Ha ha! Good one! says Gaius.

Not Teeth Gold Toes

The otter pool is not far away.

A large crowd has gathered to watch the otters.

The otters dive under the water, and pop up again.

You see their mischievous faces.

Every so often an otter scrambles out of the pool and slinks towards a cloakroom.

The other otters play and tumble in the water, creating diversions.

The otter enters the cloakroom.

And does not emerge for some time.

Jean-Claude, Mathilde, Bertille, Terence, Gaius and the Head of Slugs scan the crowd, looking for Rusty.

There he is! cries Terence. 

He runs to a rock where Rusty is licking an ice cream.

Beside him is the black-coated stranger. His eyes glint. He regards Rusty's toes.

The Head of Slugs approaches the black-coated stranger.

Hideo! says the Head of Slugs. I suggest you quietly return that coat to the cloakroom, and get back in the pool. 

Hideo stands. Looks at Rusty's gold toes with regret. And strides towards the cloakroom.

He's fairly harmless, says the Head of Slugs. Others are less predictable.

He was nice, says Rusty. And he knew things.

He didn't know about seals, says Bertille. He thought seals were descended from otters. But they're not. They're descended from bears.

The Head of Slugs is impressed.

Is that so, young lady?

That's what I read on the information board, says Bertille. Bears. They don't look like bears.

Recent evidence suggests that all pinnipeds come from a single ancestor, says Gaius. Possibly enaliarctos, closely related to mustelids and bears.

A proud heritage, says the Head of Slugs. Shall we sit and watch the otters for a bit longer. O ha ha! Look at that one, it's giving us the finger!

That's Hideo, says Rusty.

How do you know? asks Terence.

His mouth's open, says Rusty. I can see his gold teeth.

He doesn't have gold teeth, says the Head of Slugs, standing up and moving closer to Hideo.

The two front teeth of the otter Hideo are not teeth.

They are gold toes, that he is juggling around in his mouth with his tongue.

How naughty!

The Head of Slugs wonders where the gold toes could have come from.

Head Of Slugs

Jean-Claude and Mathilde arrive.

Where is Rusty? asks Mathilde.

Getting an ice cream, says Terence.

With a stranger! says Bertille. But I didn't want one.

Very sensible, says Jean-Claude. At least you are safe, ma chérie.

And me, says Terence.

And you, says Mathilde. But we should be looking for Rusty. Which way did they go?

To the otter trail, says Terence.

Terence thinks the stranger's an otter, says Bertille.

And why does he think that? asks Mathilde.

Because he is, says Terence.

Did he look like an otter? asks Jean-Claude.

No, dad! says Bertille. If he looked like an otter he couldn't have tricked Rusty. He was wearing a long black coat, and his eyes gleamed.

And he said kawai, says Terence.

Jean-Claude and Mathilde are no less worried now the stranger might be an otter.

Right, says Mathilde. We'll head to the otter trail. They're sure to be there.

But Gaius won't know where we are! says Terence. And what about the penguins?

I'll message him, says Mathilde.

However, there is no need.

Gaius appears, with an Oceanopolis official, and the elysia, in its container.

All's well, says Gaius. 

Not quite, says Jean-Claude. We've lost Rusty. But we think he's with an otter.

Then all's not well, says the Oceanopolis official. Was it a European otter or a sea otter?

We don't know, says Mathilde. It was wearing a long black coat, and saying kawai.

Kawai? says the Oceanopolis official.

Are you an otter? asks Terence.

Of course not, says the Oceanopolis official. I work here, as Head of Slugs.

He is extremely interested in the elysia, says Gaius. It has already sprouted an incipient lateral parapodia, with what look like red spots.

That's great, says Jean-Claude, but shouldn't we head for the otter trail?

We'll go to the sea otter pool first, says the Head of Slugs. Even if your lost friend is not there, you will enjoy the mischief and tricks of the otters.

Excellent! says Gaius. 

They all trail out of the Polar Pavilion.

Looks like Terence has missed out on seeing the penguins.