It's Stage Eleven. Sweezus is not convinced that Ouvert has nothing to do with Bradley Wiggins' success. He resolves to try and retrieve Ouvert for himself.
After all, thinks Sweezus as he pedals up the first of the four mountain climbs of the stage, I deserve a little bit of luck. I haven't had any luck for ages.
He passes Cadel Evans. Cadel is riding doggedly, head down. He looks up as Sweezus passes.
Cadel Evans: Hey! You from Team Philosophe! What's your name?
Sweezus: Sweezus.
Cadel Evans: Sweezus. That's pretty cool. It rhymes with.....
Sweezus: Yeah, that's my other name.
Cadel Evans: Jesus!
Sweezus: Yep. Sweezus is my Twitter name.
Cadel Evans: So you've got special powers.
Sweezus: Shit no!
Cadel Evans (sighing): You and me both. But Bradley Wiggins......
Sweezus: He's got Ouvert.
Cadel Evans (hopefully): What's that, some sort of injury?
Sweezus: It's our lucky stone.
Cadel Evans: Woweee! The philosopher's stone.
Sweezus: Well, Ouvert's in Bradley Wiggins' pocket.
Cadel Evans: Let's catch up with Bradley Wiggins.
Sweezus: Yeah! Awesome!
Cadel Evans: It's cheating to have a lucky stone.
Sweezus; Exactly. Yep. It is. Hey! Who's that?
A rider passes them.
Cadel Evans: Pierre Rolland. Don't worry about him.
.....
Cadel and Sweezus spend the rest of the stage trying to catch up with Bradley Wiggins. They overextend themselves and never do catch up.
Pierre Rolland wins the stage and Bradley Wiggins increases his lead over Cadel.
The legend of Ouvert spreads throughout the Tour.
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