The Tour de France is over. Mark Cavendish has won the last stage. Bradley Wiggins has won the Tour. And they are both from Team Sky. Not everyone is excited.
Announcer: And the winner of the Tour de France 2012 is......Bradley Wiggins!
The crowd (clapping and cheering) : Yay! Bradley Wiggins! But we already knew he would win.
Sweezus: That's that then.
Arthur: How unutterably BORING!
Sweezus: Yeah, Bradley Wiggins. Don't come back next year.
Belle et Bonne: Shoosh, Sweezie. He'll hear you.
Gaius: He's getting down off the podium. He's coming over here!
Bradley Wiggins: I heard that. Don't you guys diss me. This is the best day of my life.
Sweezus: Sorry, Bradley Wiggins, but you wore the yellow jersey the whole time. And you had the best team. There was no competition. Anyway, congratulations. How do you feel?
Bradley Wiggins: I feel strangely surreal right now.
Arthur: Surreal? You could write a poem.
Bradley Wiggins: That's not something I'm good at.
Gaius: That doesn't stop Arthur.
Bradley Wiggins: Arthur. Oh yes, you're Arthur Rimbaud. Hey Arthur, I liked your poem VICTOIRE.
Arthur: I wrote it yesterday. It's not even finished.
Bradley Wiggins: It's all over the Tour. Everyone loved the probationary legs.
Gaius: Not everyone.
Bradley Wiggins: And spitting the dog into green gobbets. That was brill. Even though we all like dogs.
Sweezus: Yep! Arthur's awesome at poems. It was cathartic. I learned that in creative writing
Bradley Wiggins: I'd like to try creative writing. Yeah. It would be cathartic.
Arthur: I didn't write it to be CATHARTIC! I wrote it to be violent, and true.
Gaius: A writer can't always predict what his readers will think.
Arthur: I give up then. As of now. Immediately. That's it.
Belle et Bonne: No, Arthur dear, you mustn't give up. You'll be famous one day.
Arthur: I'm already famous. More famous than him.
Bradley Wiggins: Steady on, Arthur. Well, I'd better be off. Olympics next week. Goodbye everyone.
He walks off stiffly.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment